Beit Carr

Current blog at HouseofCarr.com

2010-01-18T08:19:00.003-05:00

It's been a few years since I've posted over here; I didn't even remember what kind of layout I had. Still, I use this as a cyber-bookmark to make sure people can trace me down. Check out my current website at houseofcarr.com.

IMPORTANT NEWS YOU MISSED

2007-05-14T16:30:00.000-04:00

If you're reading this, then chances are you still haven't figured out that I moved my blog. All my stuff is now over at beitcarr.com. It's a wonderful place, where all you're internet dreams can come true. Unless you're a pervert. Then you need help.

Use a RSS reader? Here's the link to the new blog feed: feed://echochurch.org/beitcarr/?feed=rss2

Movin' On Over

2007-04-23T11:52:00.000-04:00

So far, things have gone well with the change over to the new blog at beitcarr.com. If you link to this blog, you might want to edit the old blogspot address to the new one.

Some of you might be wondering about the new RSS feed. If you have a feed reader like Google, drop this link feed://echochurch.org/beitcarr/?feed=rss2 into your RSS reader and you should be good to go.

Hope that info helps.

We've Moved

2007-04-16T01:01:00.000-04:00

Well, friends, it's about time to wrap up this beitcarr.blogspot.com site. I was able to pull all of my posts over to the new beitcarr.com site. I'll still leave this site up for awhile until I'm 100% sure there's nothing else I need, but for my regular blogging, you'll now have to check out beitcarr.com. That's beitcarr.com . For RSS feeds, check out the bottom of the page there.

Make a note of it.

Did I mention beitcarr.com?

I Don't Swim In Your Toilet . . .

2006-03-01T17:38:00.000-05:00

I left Kelly at the hospital this afternoon so I could return home and get ready for our prayer gathering. I spent about two and a half hours in the NICU; I keep feeling better and better.

Anyway, I hit a red light at the intersection of Dorchester and Reading, where there's a little garden area on the side of the road. I noticed a man standing by the landscaping, staring down at it intently. I then noticed a stream being projected from his midsection.

Yes friends, the guy was peeing on the garden.

Now this wasn't the first time I have witnessed public urination in an urban setting. I grew up going to church in Price Hill so you could say I have a unique understanding of the communal whiz. But here's what I found puzzling about this gentleman I observed this afternoon:

1) It was in broad daylight. If you are going to take a leak out in the open, it's best to wait until after hours. If it was night, this guy could've gone on the sidewalk and the cover of darkness would've made it too difficult to discern what he was doing.

2) It was during rush hour. The clock hit 5:00 as I was driving through the intersection. This is the busiest time of day for this particular intersection. Seriously, any other time of day and fewer cars drive by. This guy picked the ultimate drive-time in which to let loose.

3) There were acceptable alternatives available. This little garden area butts up to a wooded area. Accessing the wooded area only required an additional six steps and would've allowed optimal coverage.

So even now, I'm confused. I wish I had rolled down the window and asked the guy why he decided to micturate before all God's people next to that landscaping. But any guy crazy enough to tinkle on a garden in broad daylight would most likely be crazy enough to kill me. So maybe I made the right decision in not asking, but this will most definitely haunt me for years to come.

And to think: I get gun-shy in airport bathrooms . . .

Still Yellow, But Less Mellow

2006-02-28T21:12:00.000-05:00

This is me . . . turning the corner.

By far, the best day of the past couple of weeks. I'm still a little out of it, but I'm heading out into the clearing.

This morning Kelly and I were preparing to go to her doctor appointment. Her appointment got cancelled so we went out and bought Kaelyn a crib. We now officially have everything we need to bring the little girl home.

And speaking of the little girl, my nine-day hiatus ended this evening as I felt good enough to spend an hour with her. Holding her was great; she had this grin of contentment on her face as I explained to her where daddy has been.

Kaelyn is growing well; she's regained the weight she lost and is now at 4 pounds, 8 ounces. Unfortunately, she had another apnea episode last night so it restarts the clock. She has to go seven days with no episodes. So now we just wait till she's ready to come home.

Life's getting better. It looks like we've made it.

Day By Day

2006-02-27T14:21:00.000-05:00

This was probably the most depressing week of my life. To go an entire week without getting to see your new child is nothing but suck. I think I've turned a corner, but I'm still struggling. I'm still trying to keep a positive attitude about things, but if I don't get back to normal this week I might have to go on a shooting spree.

In an effort to let you in on my world, here's some of my observations about my Hepatitis A.

It's felt like someone punching you in the gut. I guess it's a swollen liver that puts stress on your stomach that makes you feel this way. My appetite vanished; I finally forced myself to start eating on Thursday. And even though I haven't eaten, I feel bloated.

My temperature would spike in the evenings. So I'd feel OK through most of the afternoon only to get a fever at night. Fortunately I've had two nights in a row with no incidents, which is another thing that has led me to believe I'm on the back end of this.

I'm jaundiced. Kaelyn had some jaundice and I struggled to see it; mine is noticeable. Since my liver isn't working right, I have a yellow pigmentation in my face and upper body that looks freaky. The worst is that the whites of my eyes are yellow too. So far this has no sign of stopping.

I'm constantly exhausted. Simply walking a few steps causes me to lose my breath.

In addition to all this, I lost my ability to concentrate which made it almost impossible to read. So it was a full week of watching television. I forgot how much bad TV is televised in the course of a week. And this is the first day I've felt like typing in a few days as well.

But, like I said, I think the end is near. Tomorrow marks two weeks since I first developed symptoms so that's quite long enough as far as I'm concerned.

So here's to no more Hepatitis. That would rock.

Cutie

2006-02-24T22:00:00.000-05:00

Our little peanut!
The tube you see in the picture is actually no longer there as of today. Kaelyn yanked it out (for about the fifth time!). She let them know she was done with that! Anyway, she's eating more from the bottle now so she may not have to have the tube back in. All of this is progress toward getting her home! : )

Thriller Night

2006-02-23T20:55:00.000-05:00

Well, since Steve is on hiatus with his hepatitis status, I figured I should entertain the masses in his place.

Steve's jaundice gives him a look as if he has a bit of a tan. Except for those yellow eyes. A little creepy and yet kind of cool at the same time. Reminds me of the Michael Jackson Thriller video. Remember it? I had the video with the whole behind the scenes making of stuff (that we take for granted on DVDs today). Anyway, I remember when they showed how they made Michael Jackson into the werewolf character pictured here. They put these HUGE yellow contact-like things that covered his entire eyeball. Ick! I can't imagine what that felt like! Anyway, when I see Steve right now, I am reminded of these yellow contacts.

Me and My Hepatitis

2006-02-22T12:06:00.000-05:00

Why the silence? I've still been sick. Really sick.

Went to the doctor [again] and this time they ran blood work on me. They even sent me over to Deaconess Hospital to get an ultrasound of my gall bladder [it's a boy]. The bloodwork confirmed:

I have acute viral hepatitis A.

Ain't I special?

Unfortunately there are no antibiotics they can give me so I'm left to ride it out, which could be up to two weeks.

Overall, we're upbeat about things but this is getting a little crazy.

"Bacon?!?! I smell Bacon!"

2006-02-18T21:31:00.000-05:00

Nothing implied here: Kobe Bryant to Joel Osteen in six steps.

1) Kobe Bryant plays in the National Basketball Association for the Los Angeles Lakers.

2) Bryant, who is averaging 35 points-per-game this year, was voted an NBA All-Star.

3) The NBA All-Star Weekend is being hosted by Houston this year.

4) Houston was awarded the game because of the Rocket's new Toyota Center.

5) Their old arena, The Compaq Center, was sold to local Lakewood Church.

6) Of which, Joel Osteen is senior pastor.

An Olympic-Sized Joke

2006-02-17T22:30:00.000-05:00

Attention American Olympians:

The USOC has asked me to inform you of a fact they that thought you already knew:

YOU'RE AMERICAN.

If you know this fact, you're not acting like it.

It's rather unlikely that all of you immigrated to the US, so you should know that only one thing matters to us Americans:

WINNING.

But apparently winning just isn't a big deal to some of you. First there are Bode Miller and Jeremy Bloom who made statements that winning medals isn't as important as the Olympic experience [tell that to your sponsors and see what they say]. Then there is men's figure skater Johnny Weir who, after falling from a sure silver medal to fifth place, blamed a late bus ride, bad vibes, and feeling "black inside."

And now, our friend, Lindsey Jacobellis.

Jacobellis was competing earlier today in the first women's Olympic snowboardcross final [Is it just me or are they just making up events as they go?] This "sport" consists of people racing through a snowboard track. Lindsay had the event sewed up. The gold medal was hers. She was excited about the victory, so she decided to get some big air, do a little trick, and grab her board during the final jump. Unfortunately, she bit it.

This wouldn't be too bad if not for the fact that THE RACE WASN'T OVER YET! She lost her gold medal and was forced to take home silver. They just showed the tape of the race on NBC. Her lead was massive. She said she was just trying to stabilize herself, but that's damage control. It was no accident she lost; it was just a case of her showboating.

And these, proud Americans, are the Olympians we sent to represent us in Torino.

While we want to be embarrassed by them, it might actually be an accurate representation of what our country has become:

1) We are a country of excuse-makers, justifying all our screw-ups.
Instead of taking responsibility, we're looking for something or someone to blame. And not only do we make excuses, we do it preemptively so we have that defense in advance.

2) We are a country of glory hounds, always lauding our own accomplishments.
It's no longer enough to get the job done, but it must be done with panache. I have to point my finger in your face. I have to pump my fist. I have to thump my chest.

How sad is it that, in order to get back on track, the voice of reason becomes eccentric Oakland Raiders Al Davis. His rather American mantra: "Just win, baby."

Maybe this Winter Olympics will be worth something afterall: it'll provide a scary reflection of what we Americans have become.

One Last Blast

2006-02-16T22:55:00.000-05:00

And while I'm on a roll, why does our local media feel the need to bust into regular programming with a "Special Report" whenever it starts to rain?

Notice there's no way that they'll ever interrupt a commercial break, but will wait right until the show you're watching comes back on.

Now they'll say that they're doing this because they care about the community. But if this "breaking news" is really so important, why don't they wait till after the commercial break? It's like they're saying, "Yes we care, but not enough to tick off the sponsors and lose advertising money."

My take: They don't care. They're attention-starved media whores.

There, I said it. I feel better.

Seriously, they're becoming the boy who cried wolf. I'm starting to tune them out. They've broken in so much that someday something serious is going to happen and I'll refuse to listen. They'll interrupt my show, I'll flip over to Comedy Central and be sucked away by a tornado while watching The Colbert Report.

I never switched over to the DISH because of the local channel thing. I now ask myself why I cared.

I need some sleep.

Pay For Play

2006-02-16T22:40:00.000-05:00

Just watched an ABC Primetime segment on how record labels use bribes to get radio stations to play their artists' music. The reporter was appalled that these labels could manipulate the public, forcing them to buy their music. One of the offenders they listed was J-Lo.

I just laughed.

We get that bent out of shape? If the music sucks people aren't going to buy it; Trust me: the only money J-Lo is getting out of my pocket would be me paying her not to sing.

Yes, this might seem unfair to these small bands trying to make but whoever said the music industry was fair? It's all about who you know [or who you're willing to fornicate with]. It's rarely about how talented you are [I rest my case].

Kelly's Home

2006-02-16T22:38:00.000-05:00

. . . and I'm glad.

She looks great, but is still moving around slowly.

Now once we get Kaelyn home, life will be wonderful.

A Hackweight Takeout

2006-02-16T11:28:00.000-05:00

Being sick sucks. This we know.

What makes it worse is suffering through daytime television. But fortunately for me, there's the Twentieth Winter Olympiad.

"WHAT?!?!" you ask. "The Olympics are horrible!"

I agree. Except for one event:

CURLING!!!

Yes, Curling is awesome! I hope that ESPN comes to their senses and launches a Curling Channel in the near future. That would be rad.

I just watched the USA kick Sweden's butt around the ice. Seriously, I watched the entire match and even gave a fist pump when the US clinched it. I guess there's only one problem:

I have no freakin' idea what the rules are.

I feel like an idiot watching them slide their stones and sweep their ice [what other sport involves doing housework?] because I don't know what they're trying to accomplish; I'm still not sure how they score. And the commentators use all these technical terms about the sport. They were speaking English, but it might as well have been Swedish.

You know, I could spend some time researching the sport, maybe checking out a website like this to figure out all the lingo. But . . . honestly, I don't care that much.

I don't worry too much about feeling like an idiot every four years.

Quick Update

2006-02-15T22:42:00.000-05:00

Kaelyn: Doing well. At this rate in her development, I'd say she'd have three weeks or less in the NICU. Kelly's loved spending some upclose time with her. Getting her home will be awesome. She's a beauty!

Kelly: Doing better. She had a rough day and a half recovering but his flourished the last 24 hours. Unless something changes, she'll come home tomorrow morning- having spent 16 days in the hospital. I repeat: Getting her home will be awesome. She's a beauty!

Me: Doing crappy. Yesterday morning I felt sick. Had a fever all day yesterday and through the night. I didn't like not being able to see Kel or Kaelyn so I even went to the doctor this morning [very rare for me]. He said it's just a virus and antibiotics would be no help. Told me to rest, fluids, blah, blah, blah. So I've been staying away from the hospital. Thankfully Kelly's parents have stepped up big time, staying at the hospital to help out. This has meant I haven't been able to see the baby. Hopefully I'll be better by Friday so I can see her.

All In One Day

2006-02-13T21:07:00.000-05:00

As I sit here in the quiet of this hospital room, my wife asleep on the bed next to me, and my daughter four floors below me, I'm still trying to assimilate what has happened in the past 24 hours. I can't remember anything like this. Nothing in the world itself changed but I can't help but know it'll never be the same. And now, despite that I'm totally exhausted, I know I can't let this day slip away without trying to put into words what I feel.

Kaelyn is one of the most beautiful things my eyes has ever seen. I know that statement might sound a little off, but I have to be honest: I've seen some pretty amazing things with these eyes. To me, the most beautiful thing I've ever laid eyes on is Kaelyn's mother. Not to put the two of them in competition with one another, but Kelly will always be first to me. You see, Kaelyn didn't choose me to be her father, but Kel chose me to be her husband; I wouldn't be the man that I am today without her. That's why, when we were doing the great big name search, the name just seemed perfect. I couldn't very well name her Kelly Lynn Jr., but our little girl will now always know the high regard that I hold her in. Kelly's sleeping now, but she's still so beautiful.

This little girl is amazing, though. She's so frail, but I had to participate in the obligatory new father custom of putting my finger in her hand. And she gripped it tightly. Like I said, I've seen some beautiful things, but that might be the most precious feeling I've ever experienced. I know, years from now, Kaelyn won't remember that she took hold of my finger but I'll take it to the grave. In that one touch of her hand, I knew that I was ready to be dad. She's my daughter, and I love her so much.

Last night, Kelly was only able to spend five minutes with her. She woke up this morning determined to feel better so she could get downstairs to spend some time with out baby. Kelly's been a trooper the past two weeks, with all the magnesium and such that they put her on, but she always blazed on. Today was her toughest day yet; but she fought through it and this afternoon I wheeled her down to the elevators, to the ninth floor to spend quality time with the little girl.

After a few moments of staring at her, Kelly asked the attending nurse for what she truly wanted: to hold Kaelyn for the first time. Gingerly the nurse wrapped up our child and handed her to Kelly. As I stood behind her, I looked down and saw my wife holding our child. And I was breathless.

And I celebrated the moment by taking this picture. Yeah, kinda cheesy, but it was a Kodak moment that I would never have again. Another moment in my life that I will never forget. Again . . . no words.

I'm grateful for the opportunity to be a parent, to experience things that I've never dealt with. I'm not fooling myself that it'll be a cake walk. There will be dirty diapers, bruised knees, temper tantrums, rebellious teenage years, but just for today I'm basking in the glow of being a new dad.

Thank You, God, for life.

My World

2006-02-13T08:47:00.000-05:00

My girls.

Kaelyn Rhae Carr

2006-02-13T02:24:00.000-05:00

Friends,

Allow me to introduce you to our daughter:

Kaelyn Rhae [pronounced "KAY-LIN RAY"] was born at 10:42pm on Sunday February 12th. She weighed 4 lbs, 6 ozs and was a little over 16 inches long. Kelly was amazing; both mom and baby are in good shape.

Just in case you're curious, Kaelyn was my choice as an abbreviation for my favorite girl, Kelly Lynn. Rhae is Kelly's mom's middle name. And, um, Carr is our last name.

Because she was premature, Kaelyn will have to spend the first few weeks of her life in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit here at Good Sam. But fortunately we get to spend the rest of our lives with her.

Thanks for the prayers. I'm sure I'll have more to say soon but, believe it or not, I'm actually at a loss for words.

Praise God!
steve

Amy Lynn Doerr

2006-02-10T22:09:00.000-05:00

I only met Amy twice: once a few years ago and when she visited our church a couple weeks ago. A dedicated wife and mother, Amy passed away Wednesday. She was thirty years old.

Amy's husband, Chad, is a minister near Falmouth, Kentucky. I'm really not close friends with him [Aaron and him grew up together], but I've known him for about seven years now. When I first met him, he wasn't even in the ministry; he was working for his dad's printing company. But he answered a call to the Antioch Mills Christian Church as their youth minister, later becoming their preacher.

I've written about it before, but the ministry is a different profession; it's unlike any other job I know. Because of that, there's a certain camaraderie among ministers. That's why, despite Kelly being in the hospital, I knew I had to go to the visitation tonight.

Their church, where the visitation was held, is in the middle of nowhere; it's small town. There was a police officer directing traffic because the crowd was so large. We waited in line two hours just to get to see the family. There were hundreds of people there. It was an amazing sight; an incredible testimony to Amy's life.

Chad said in Amy's obituary that, "she was a joy to be around. She was generous and always giving. It didn't matter if it was money or cooking a meal for somebody or just teaching a [church] class, it was always about other people. Just to walk with her made you want to give and give and give."

Amy played piano at the church. This past Sunday, two days before her death and weakened by her illness, she forced herself to get out of bed and play for the morning worship service.

But perhaps more meaningful than all of this were the words of a guy I stood next to in line named Charlie. Charlie was an older gentleman who lived his entire life in the Falmouth area. I struck up a conversation with him and discovered he attended Antioch Mills. He had nothing but great words about the Doerrs and the church. "Those people have made a huge difference around here," Charlie told me. And as his voice began to quiver he added, "everybody loved her. This is the biggest viewing I've seen in this county in all my life." You never know how your life has affected others. A simple conversation with Charlie showed me that Amy touched lives everywhere she went, even the life of a rugged old country boy.

Thank God for people like Amy who fight the good fight and finish the race strong. If my daughter can be half the woman that she was, she'll do well for herself.

Keep Chad and their daughter Emrie in your prayers.

More on CityLink

2006-02-09T18:43:00.000-05:00

There have been more CityLink Center developments. Last night there was a meeting at the Lincoln Center in support of the project. Also yesterday, Cincinnati City Council voted 8-1 in a resolution against the center. The vote was meaningless, but I guess it helped them feel better . . . or something.

These happenings have spawned more debate about a post I did about CityLink a few weeks ago. You can read it all here. Feel free to contribute your thoughts.

Lifting The Lid

2006-02-08T18:35:00.000-05:00

Note: the following article might gross some of you out. If you're the faint of heart, you might want to skip this one. Just keep in mind I've been in the hospital for more than a week now with too much free time on my hands to think about life's greatest challenges. I believe this post affirms that.

Today's hospital observation:

The toilets here could be just what women need to get men to lift the seat.

Honestly, I'm one of those men who lifts the seat. It's the right thing to do, a common courtesy. I just think how cruddy [pun intended] gas station bathrooms can be and that's enough to convince me. Men have the obvious advantage in using poorly maintained restrooms; no matter how bad they are at least we don't have to sit down. I feel bad that women have to sit, because there's always the great unknown of who was the last person to use this seat. So with my toilet use, the Golden Rule applies. I wouldn't want to sit down, therefore, I lift the seat.

Why don't some men lift the seat? Hard to tell, but I came up with two reasons.

Reason 1) Overconfidence in their ability to aim. Males are conditioned from an early age to work on accuracy. We spend years perfecting it. In adulthood, we're the John Wayne of commode-town: never missing a shot. Why bother lifting the seat when we're obviously going to avoid it? Unfortunately, most of us aren't nearly as precise as we believe we are. Sure there are still some marksmen among us, but many don't lift the seat because a brash attitude has gotten the best of them.

Reason 2) Sheer laziness. Because men have the ability to go standing up, bending down to lift up the seat is an extra step in the process. I think the line of thought of the male mind goes like this:

"I am male. I can do my business standing up. That's the way God intended it to be. If have to bend down to use the john, I might as well go ahead and sit down- and that's not going to happen. Too much work; I'll just rely on my aim."

Now back to these hospital cans. They aren't sufficient to solve the first reason that men don't lift the seat [leave that to Dr. Phil], but could prove quite valuable with the second reason. With the handles on the side, it requires little effort to lift. That's what men need to make us function better: simplicity. Remote controls. Velcro. Handles. It could be perfect.

I'm telling you, friends: handles on the side of toilets could change the world.

A TKO from Tokyo

2006-02-07T22:56:00.000-05:00

Great Tiger. King Hippo. Von Kaiser.

Men who have made an impact in history? I think not.

These were opponents in the game Mike Tyson's Punch-Out. Like most boys growing up in the 1980's I was addicted to a little thing called the Nintendo Entertainment System. Everyday after school I would escape into a virtual land where I could eventually become Heavyweight Champion of The World. Despite only weighing 113 pounds and never having hit someone with a boxing glove, I could go to war. Living vicariously through Little Mac, with Doc Louis in my corner, I made it through and won the championship belt. Glory indeed.

I really think this is why people are still fascinated by Iron Mike: cemented in the minds of many male Gen X'ers is the idea that Tyson was the man. We spent our childhoods trying to defeat him and we still view him as unbeatable. This image of Tyson [circa 1988, before he married the Head of The Class chick] dominates our minds, so that we still watch his fights in awe . . . or maybe we're just waiting for him to bite off another opponent's body part. I'm still not sure why we watch.

For those, like me, who have spent years wondering what this video game would look like in real life, we now have an answer. Click here to find out.

Holding Pattern

2006-02-07T09:37:00.000-05:00

OK, the update from the hospital is SOS- no not an call for alarm, but Same Old Situation as we now play the waiting game. The extended stay is providing moments of boredom for both Kelly and I, but the baby could arrive like a thief in the night, so we have to be ready. I swear, though, that if my daughter ends up being a kleptomaniac, she most definitely will be grounded.

Changing subjects . . .

Two days later, I still think the big news is the poor officiating in Super Bowl XL. Some of you might dismiss this all together as excessive whining, but I really didn't care who won the game [actually that might be a fib; I didn't care who won the game as long as it wasn't Pittsburgh]. The NFL has a big problem on their hands here, and they're not taking it seriously. I'm shocked that Paul Tagliabue, NFL Commissioner, hasn't come out and made a statement; the silence is deafening.

The integrity of their product is at stake here. On their biggest night, in a game that more people watch than any other televised event, their officials goofed. Now people who aren't even football fans, who tune in just for the commercials and the chance of eating those little cocktail hot-dogs, questioning the legitimacy of NFL officiating. And it doesn't help with the recent news that Bob Waggoner, the official who called the phantom pass-interference play against Seattle, IS A NATIVE OF PITTSBURGH! Are you kidding me? Allowing a guy who probably grew up with Terrible Towels out his yin-yang to referee a Super Bowl in which the Steelers were playing? Bad idea. Like Bob's going to want to come back home to the family reunion on Memorial Day and hear it from all his family how he did nothing to help the Yellow and Black win. He did what he had to do to keep his family intact.

Look, I'm not saying that Bob was rigging the game. I'm sure he tried to make the call he needed to make. But if I'm at the Final Four refereeing when UC has a chance for a national championship or behind the plate in the World Series with the Reds I'm sure I'd be impartial. But in my impartially, I'd lean towards the 'Nati.

And this isn't just unfair to Seattle. It's unfair to Pittsburgh. At a time when their fans should be able to enjoy the fruits of a Super Bowl victory they have to constantly defend how, despite playing a horrible game and benefiting from questionable officiating, they are worthy champions.

The NFL needs to do something, and do it quickly. And they should look no further than the Atlantic Coast Conference who suspended an officiating crew one game for blowing a call. Their bad call in second half of Saturday's Florida State loss to Duke game led to the ejection of a leading Seminole scorer. The ACC, aware that Duke is perceived as being the least penalized team in the conference, wanted to avoid even the hint of a fix.

Who knows, this could spawn the return of baseball to the official role of America's pastime.

Well, except for that whole steroids thing.

Super Bowl XL Recap: Second Half

2006-02-05T20:17:00.000-05:00

This is PART TWO of my Super Bowl XL recap. I thought I'd break up my thoughts to make it a little more digestible. First, check out PART ONE, and then read continue reading this post.

-You're going to find this crazy, but I'm really having a problem with these black and white photos of Steelers/Seahawks players holding the Lombardi trophy. Most hockey players refuse to even touch the Stanley Cup before they win it. Is there nothing sacred left in sports that the networks won't exploit for publicity? 'Tis a sad, disturbing thing.

-Grey's Anatomy looks interesting, but I liked it better the first time when it was called ER.

-Jerome Bettis should shut his mouth and be thankful that he still has a career. Willie Parker just proved that he's good enough to get the job done running the ball for Pittsburgh. Bettis should be embarrassed for stealing, what should be, Parker's touchdowns. And if it weren't for a Ben Rothlisberger tackle, the lasting memory of Jerome would be him committing the biggest fumble in NFL history.

-The advertising in the first half was so bad, I feel OK about peeing during commercials now.

-Back to Big Ben, I give to you Trent Dilfer and Tom Brady. Rothlisberger had the chance to be just like them: Super Bowl winning quarterbacks who benefited by playing on teams with good defenses. In these situations, your job is simple: don't screw it up. I know there's a lot of football left but, halfway through the third quarter, I think Ben is due for one more interception.

-The commercials are boring. Right now, the game is boring. It's making the halftime show look good. We need a good fourth quarter here.
-When is a tackle an illegal block? Another great officiating job.

-Just saw an ad from Boston Legal. So Tom Selleck, the former love interest for Courtney Cox on Friends, is now Candace Bergen's beau? I'm sorry: downgrade.

-Pittsburgh's going to win. Just great. I'm ready to hook up to Kelly's IV. That's IntraVenous line, not four.

-The fumble by Matt Hassleback is overturned. Eight minutes remaining in the game and the officials finally get one right.

-Four minutes left, and I'm contemplating whether or not I want to watch the postgame. I'm thinking I probably will. We're now going to have to endure an entire year of hearing from Steeler fans. Hopefully the birth of my daughter will help me forget this ever happened.

I'm done with this. I'm retiring to my hospital chair/bed. Maybe I'll wake up and Super Bowl XL will be a bad dream.

Super Bowl XL Recap: First Half

2006-02-05T18:57:00.000-05:00

So here we are, in the hospital, watching the Super Bowl. I'm not sure I've ever watched the big game with just one other person. And I'm not sure that Kel is going to be able to stay awake through the duration, so it might just be me. There's always much to be said about the NFL championship, but I'll make some observations to keep my self entertained.

-Is it just me, or is Aretha Franklin's diva bit a little played out? I'm convinced she thinks that everyone around the world tuned in just hear her sing. Why should we R-E-S-P-E-C-T you when all you care about is your rep?

-What was up with the voice of the woman introducing the past MVP's? It was the audible equivalent of a car accident: incredibly horrible but I could not turn away.

-Kimo Von Oelhoffen just got jacked up by Seattle's center. It won't un-tear Carson Palmer's ACL but it sure made me feel better.

-The pass interference call against Seattle's Darren Jackson could be the worst call NFL officials have made all year. And calling Rothlisberger's goal line dive a touchdown was just as bad. Why is it that the age of instant replay have produced some of the poorest officiating in NFL history.

-Thinking about Budweiser's streaking sheep commercial, I think "Didn't need to see that," could become the day-after-the-Super-Bowl-around-the-water-cooler-catch-phrase. [Scratch that. I'm now going with the guy who clobbered the woman playing touch football saying, "You were open but NOW YOU ARE CLOSED!"].

-This just in: Pittsburgh still sucks.

-Why do companies like Career Builder and Go Daddy, who spend $88,000 a second to advertise during the Super Bowl, rehash their lame commercials from last year?

-I can tolerate Michael Irvin on ESPN, but whose idea was it to give him a microphone on Super Bowl Sunday?

-A quick note to ABC concerning their new show Sons and Daughters: no wonder CBS is cleaning your clock.

-It's the halftime show and all I can think is, "PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE BRING OUT DAVID BOWIE AND DO DANCING IN THE STREETS!" OK, that's a little out of line but I swear if Keith Richards has a wardrobe malfunction I might never be able to have another child.

On Being A Pastor

2006-02-05T14:33:00.000-05:00

I forgot to mention that Wally and Barbara Rendel came to visit us on Friday. Wally is the minister at the Southern Acres Christian Church, Kelly's home church in Lexington. Wally did our wedding ceremony and he and Barb took us out to dinner for our final session of premarital counseling. He's the founding pastor of Southern Acres and will retire in June.

The fact that they drove from Lexington, Kentucky [a three-hour round trip] just to see us for an hour is rather humbling. Southern Acres has about a thousand people attend each week. There are constant demands in a ministry that size and making a trip to see us would seem like low priority. And especially doing so as you're nearing the end of your ministry, when you don't need to put in that kind of effort, is very impressive. But that's just the kind of pastor he is.

As I recently wrote, I didn't get into ministry to be a pastor; I just loved to preach. To be a good pastor takes a set of skills entirely different from just preaching. You need to love ministering to people. Investing in people's lives demands a lot of time. There are definite joys, but a whole lot of heartache. That's why there's a lot of turn-over in the ministry. But I've learned over the past few years what it takes to be a good pastor. I'm doing my best to put those skills in action.

If I can be half the pastor that Wally is, I might make a good minister after all.

Here Comes Baby!

2006-02-05T14:18:00.000-05:00

OK, not really; sorry for crying wolf.

But if she's going to come, now is the time because Kelly's parents finally left to go home. They've been here since Tuesday night waiting with us, but it was time they try to get back to their lives as we wait for the big arrival.

It was a blessing to have them come up, giving me the chance to slip out every once in awhile to go home, shower and get some more clothes. And it's been great to have them around for all the encouragement they provide. No joke: I have some awesome in-laws. And I'm not just saying that because I've gotten used to them hooking me up with Egg McMuffins every morning. Thanks so much, Dave and Bev!

Yesterday Dave and I were able to tour the Good Sam neo-natal ICU. The realization is sinking in that our little girl will be here at least a few weeks after Kelly gets to go home. It's a top-notch facility. It's a beautiful, high tech nursery where all the babies can be closely monitored. And the nurse giving us the tour reassured us that our baby is in great shape with her maturity and size. I don't know what it'll be like having to leave our newborn here and go home, but we're about six minutes away. Some parents with babies here live as far as two hours away, so this is another blessing for which we're thankful.

And it figures that, with everything else happening, there was trouble at the condo. Kelly's parents called last night saying that the heat wasn't working. They insisted on spending the night anyway, but it was a cold 52 degrees inside. Considering we have a brand new heat pump, I was a little hot under the collar. This morning I was able to find out that the electric line supplying the heat and our stove had ruptured in the ground. So Cinergy is coming by this afternoon to take care of it. Hopefully, by the end of the day, the heat will be on.

And still, we wait. Place your bets now.

A Room With A View

2006-02-04T14:52:00.000-05:00

After spending the first two days at the hospital in a windowless room, I was giddy when they said they were moving us to a room with a window. Kelly really didn't care too much, but even the thought of natural light put a little jump in my step.

The fabulous window view we now have:

Um, huge improvement. At least it's something.

How To Win The World For Jesus

2006-02-03T14:33:00.000-05:00

We will debate the pagans into submission!

The best part of this article is the correction that reads:

In the original version of this report, NEWSWEEK misquoted Falwell as referring to "assault ministry." In fact, Falwell was referring to "a salt ministry"—a reference to Matthew 5:13, where Jesus says "Ye are the salt of the earth." We regret the error.

Imagine that? Jerry Falwell misunderstood. He's still my hero.

Patience

2006-02-03T04:31:00.000-05:00

When I was growing up, the bathroom at my parent's house had a slate hanging on the wall. It was from the 100 year-old building where our church met; the building was demolished about 18 years ago. The roof was tiled with these 1'X2' slates, a perfect canvas for our craft-minded neighbor to decorate. This certain slate had a sea-scape painted on it along with a quote from a book called Gift From The Sea by Anne Morrow Lindbergh. Yeah, it's chick-lit, but seeing the quote every day caused it to be etched into my mind. And I can recite without hesitation:

"Patience is what the sea teaches. Patience and faith. One should lie empty, open, choiceless as a beach waiting for a gift from the sea."

Like almost all people, I've struggled hard with patience.

Remember when you were younger, you thought, "wouldn't it be nice if we were older?" That's the story of my life. I've always looked young for my age, so I always anticipated getting another year under my belt. Everyone was like this, but when I was twelve, I wanted to be sixteen. When I was sixteen, it was eighteen. When I was eighteen, it was twenty-one. And I also liked to round up my age, just so I could feel legitimate. I just wanted what's next. Just a note, it's funny that at thirty, I finally feel comfortable where I'm at. But my patience issues aren't all about age.

When I graduated Bible college, I was ready to preach. That's why the whole reason I wanted to go into the ministry, not because I wanted to pastor people but because I liked to preach. Think about it: a half hour every week when I talk and everybody has to listen. Are you kidding? That's like getting paid to go to therapy! But out of school, I couldn't get a preaching job; I guess I looked too young. I kept waiting and waiting, through three different jobs, for the opportunity to live out my dream [fortunately God used this time to teach me that the ministry is more than just a homily]. Honestly, if I knew I would have to wait eight years to see that dream become a reality, I might have given up and moved onto a different profession. I am Veruca Salt: I want it now.

And that brings me to right now. 4am in a hospital room striving to be patient. I know we're most likely just beginning this waiting process for our baby, but my stoicism runs thin. But I have a some patience incentive. Now it's not about me getting what I want when I want it. I want so bad to see this little girl's face, to finally hold her in my arms. But I know that my need for instant gratification works against the health of our child. For that, my friends, I'll do all I can to get patient . . . as quickly as possible.

Phillipians 4:4-7 says it best:

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

Now, I can wait. Thanks, God, for getting me here.

Survivor Is Back

2006-02-02T20:24:00.000-05:00

I'm not really an addict, but what else is there to do? Watching The Survivor premier, two quick thoughts from the first segments:

1) What's the big deal about Exile Island? There are crew members all over the island. So it's not like the people are alone. I love them trying to show how lonely it is via a camera man doing a nice fade-out.

2) When I see a huge dead turtle on a beach, I don't think of mother earth or that North America was once called the Turtle Island [What the ?????]. I think, "Man, I'd love to poke it with a stick."

48 Hours

2006-02-02T19:57:00.000-05:00

As we reach a full two days of hospital time, with both wife and baby healthy, and still waiting on the big event, I focus my thoughts on some little observations from the past two days. Try this one on for size.

Printed on every television in this hospital [or at least the two rooms we've had so far] is the following announcement:

"Local Phone/TV Service is $7.50 per day"

Now I have definite issues here. Call the doctor because I feel a rant coming on.

First I ask, why lump these two services together? Since when do phones and TV go hand in hand? Of course you could say that Time Warner Cable now provides phone service so "shut-it, Steve," but you don't have to get those services together. With cell phones, we have little use for the room line- and don't get on me about not using cell phones in the hospital, because EVERYONE HERE is doing it!

You might think that the substantial price for the services would mean they have high-tech gadgets to use. You would be wrong. We're watching a Zenith 16-inch television that won't show the entire screen. Watching the Kentucky game last night, we could only see half of the score. A game is a lot less interesting when you have no idea who's winning. And there's no "push-button" remote so, to change the channels, you have to go through every channel along the way. If you're want to watch channel 43 and you accidentally hit the button and go past that channel, you have to start again at channel one and start all over. Oh, and the phone is nothing to write home about either.

Finally do the math here. If you factor this out over the course of a month, which is how long we could possibly be here. That would be $225. Normally telephone and cable would cost about $70 per month. I think I could buy a TV and phone for the remaining $155. This is a racket if I've ever seen one. No wonder the hospital can afford this huge expansion.

With so much downtime on our hands this is a service that I refuse to do without. We'll see just how good our health insurance is [the sign also says that the charges will show up on our home telephone bill. Seeing as we don't use Cincinnati Bell, this might be difficult for the hospital]. We have to have television to watch so now I'm using the phone all the time, randomly calling people around the city. The dialogue goes something like this: "Hey, it's Steve here. My wife's having a baby at Good Sam hospital. We're paying for this phone call. So what do you want to talk about?"

Gotta go. It's time for Survivor . . .

Didn't I post this yesterday?

2006-02-02T16:33:00.000-05:00

We've been a tad preoccupied the past couple days, so I apologize if others have already said this. But today is groundhog day and the groundhog saw his shadow and we get six more weeks of winter. This winter is on record as one of the mildest winters in a century. Is anyone really disappointed if we get six more weeks of this?

30 Hours Later

2006-02-01T22:57:00.000-05:00

OK, here's where we are:

Kelly did better today, better than the doctors predicted. Apparently they really thought she could have the baby last night [but they were wise and didn't tell us]. She only had about five contractions today and was only in mild discomfort. Plus, she was able to eat some food. Hospital food is a drag, but she really enjoyed the Jello; Bill Cosby would be proud.

While time stands still in our world right now, every day that passes is another day our little girl can grow stronger. They're continuing giving Kel magnesium in hopes of keeping things where they are. We're unsure how long she'll be able to hold it; it could happen tomorrow or it could happen in weeks. All we know is that by March 1st we'll have a baby; and Kelly is stuck in the hospital until it happens.

We had a great time as friends and family visited today. We had no idea how many people cared! This was both relieving and exhausting to Kelly. The medical staff here have some concerns with the volume of visitors we've had and asked that we limit the number of people who come to visit. Wanting to respect their request, and wanting what's best for the baby and Kelly, we're going to ask that only our families visit during the next few days. And instead of calling the hospital room to check on us, please call my cell or send me an email [they have Wi-Fi here]. Thanks for understanding our needs.

We deeply appreciate everyone's concern and care. I promise I'll get updates along when things happen. Your prayers have been a blessing.

Soon to be a papa,
steve

Change of Plans

2006-02-01T07:14:00.000-05:00

I'm writing this post from Good Samaritan hospital. Yesterday afternoon Kelly called me from her doctor's appointment with some startling news: she had gone into labor.

I rushed over [understatement] to meet her at the hospital. The lifesquad brought her here. So much has happened in the last twelve hours, let me give the details.

Kelly just hit thirty weeks at midnight. The little girl is healthy enough that, if born now, she'd most likely be OK. Still, she's better off inside Kelly as long as possible, to allow her lungs some time to develop. They have her on magnesium which makes her whole body limp, but it proved successful. She won't leave the hospital until the baby comes, so sometime in the next couple of weeks the baby will be here. Could be today, could be tomorrow, could be next week. We'll find out more later this morning as her doctors do some consultation.

Of course, this was all quite the surprise. We thought we had a couple more months [at least a few weeks] to prepare. Kelly started having contractions yesterday morning and thought it was a stomach ache. Her doctor said that if she hadn't had her appointment yesterday that I would have delivered her baby last night. There's a scary thought.

Quick blessings:
Kelly is doing an awesome job. Apparently the doctors say she has a high threshold of pain [she married me, didn't she?].

Good Sam is one of the top prenatal hospitals in the world. The staff has been great; our nurse last night was wonderful. We even managed to sneak in some sleep here and there.

Kelly's parents were able to come up last night. It was a relief for Kelly to have them here, plus it gave me the chance to run home a pack the proverbial "baby suitcase."

I'll let you know how things are going. Prayers are definitely appreciated.

Where Were You?

2006-01-30T16:09:00.000-05:00

Pearl Harbor and JFK's Assassination- two "generational moments" that touched America. Moments that cause people to remember exactly where they were or what they were doing when they first heard about them. Unfortunately, my generation has had two such moments. Obviously the terrorist attacks on America are unforgettable but the first moment was the space shuttle Challenger.

This weekend marked twenty years since the Challenger disaster. On January 28, 1986 I was in Mrs Smith's fourth grade class at John Foster Dulles elementary school. We weren't among the students watching the launch on live TV because our lunch period occurred at that time. I remember someone coming up to our table saying that the shuttle had exploded, and we thinking it was a joke. I can remember exactly where I was sitting in the cafeteria. We spent the rest of the day glued to the television watching the disastrous news come in. For years I thought that would be our generation's moment in time.

Last night A&E had a special about on about the World Trade Center bombings. Whenever these 9/11 programs come on, I feel obligated to watch. On September 11, 2001 I was working at Cincinnati Bible College in the admissions office. Evan's wife called to tell us to turn on the television. We watched intently as the smoke bellowed from the north tower. But the moment the south tower suddenly burst into flames, and we all recognized that this wasn't an accident, everything changed. I remember how numb I felt in that moment. I was coach of the school's women's soccer team and I cancelled practice that day. I stayed up that night until 3am watching the news. I couldn't believe what had happened.

A crazy thing about being human: we can feel the pain of losing someone we've never met. I didn't personally know any of the people who perished in either of those accidents yet I felt [and still feel] this connection with them. Perhaps it's because we're forced to reflect on our own humanity. Churches in this country were never as full the weekend after September 11th; and everyone was praying. These moments make us realize how frail life is, that we're not invincible, and that we should cherish all the days we have on earth.

Maybe that's why I feel the need to watch every program about these disasters. I need to constantly be reminded of how precious and fleeting my own existence is. It gives me another piece of motivation to carpe diem and make a difference in this world. My mortality should affect the way I carry myself in life, and seeing the sudden deaths of others puts that into perspective.

I don't know if that's it or not, but I keep coming back to these moments in time. I am the only one, or do these moments stir you as well?

He Can't Handle The Truth

2006-01-26T20:13:00.000-05:00

The heat was too much.

I wrote a couple of weeks ago about James Frey, whose non-fiction best-seller A Million Little Pieces was found to be full of lies. Book sales were jettisoned by being in Oprah's book club. For awhile the media queen denied that this was a big deal, but she finally came to terms and brought James Frey back on her show. [Correction: NY Times pulled the transcript, but their coverage is here.]

It's hilarious that Frey's still trying to live in the false reality he's created. He said, "I mean, what was true is there was that person. Every one of the people in the book existed. I altered things about all of them." Plus, while I'm adding things, I finally saw some of the video on the news this morning and, "DANG!" That was one ticked-off billionaire! And Frey was just a deer in the headlights as Oprah tore him a new one. I wonder if he was even aware why Oprah asked him back on the show]

Oprah has withdrawn her support of Frey and his book.

La Pequena Chica

2006-01-26T19:45:00.000-05:00

First off, El Rancho Grande is still the best restaurant ever.

Had to get that out of the way.

A trip to El Rancho was my treat for participating in the arduous task known as "registering for baby shower." We were an hour and a half at Babies 'R' Us this evening, neck deep in pastels [which even makes Kelly gag]. Don't worry; I made it out alive.

I remember eight years ago when we were registering for our wedding. Now that was a good time. I wielded that price gun like Doc Holiday on the streets of Tombstone ["I'm your Huckleberry"]. It was the same task today, with a different purpose. The estrogen levels were awfully high. All the men in the place, accompanying their pregnant partners looked like they were being held hostage with no ransom in sight.

Look, don't get me wrong. I'm so excited about the little girl. I can't wait 'till she gets here. I'm looking forward to all the things fatherhood has to offer. But I don't care what color her sheets are, or what kind of sippie cups she'll use. But I guess it's stuff other people are going to get us. So I'll shut up now. Because I'm an idiot.

Did I mention we ate at El Rancho Grande tonight?

God Bless Hooters!

2006-01-24T22:25:00.000-05:00

Wait! Don't get all judgemental! I didn't say that. He did.

The head Catholic priest for the Greater Waco area blessed the new Hooters restaurant in town.

Monsignor Isidore Rozycki is quoted as saying, Blessings are part of the Catholic tradition. You bless the building so it will be a safe haven, so that the families that enter will be blessed, so the employees will be blessed as they support their families."

OK then.

If this works, he should expect more calls.

"Monsignor, Larry Flint on line one."

Ten minutes to Wapner . . .

2006-01-24T21:20:00.000-05:00

[Insert People's Court Music here. If typed out it looks like: DA! D'DUM! DUM!]

I've always been fascinated by the law; before my preaching desires kicked in, I always thought I would be a lawyer. It seemed such a cool profession, on LA Law and in the movies [My Cousin Vinnie, anyone?], why wouldn't I want to be a lawyer?

I became a friend with Kevin while on staff at Christ's Church. Kevin is a defense lawyer up in Lebanon who sometimes tries appeals cases before the United States Sixth Circuit Court of Appeals. He always offered to let me watch and we finally made it happen this afternoon.

First off, no one tried on a bloody glove and there was no opportunity for me to yell, "No Justice, No Peace!" After getting over that disappointment, it was an interesting time. The room in the Courthouse was gorgeous, cherry wood everywhere with a Gold Eagle carved above the judges' bench. There are three judges that cases are brought before, and lawyers. At this point in the appeals process, it's all about arguments over the laws themselves.

As a defense lawyer Kevin is forced to represent scum, but he'll only argue what he believes in. Today it was an argument concerning the way a judge sentenced a drug dealer. There was no denying the guilt of the defendent, but the judge took some leeway in how he came up with the sentence; he used hearsay evidence to come up with the sentence. Kevin argued to the appeals court that it was a violation of the sixth amendment [still not sure what women voting had to do with this]. The judges get a month or so to come up with a decision but, despite already winning one of his points, you could tell that his argument wasn't going to fly.

After listening to about an hour of legaleze, I went away with one thing on my mind:

I'm glad I didn't become a lawyer.

Sure it's exciting when you're before a judge, but with all the research you have to do just to get in court, it's like being stuck in term-paper hell. You research rulings and cases to come up with arguments so you can go back and research some more. That is unless you're an ambulance chaser and then . . . well, Duebber can fill in the blanks.

Mad props to all you hard-working law school grads, but I'll stick with the preaching gig, thank you very much. No one objects to my sermons . . . well, at least not while I'm giving them.

Can't you hear Doug Llewellyn wrapping up this post? He says something like this:

"This is Doug Llewellyn reminding you that when you're too lazy to actually go to law school, you have little ambition and think you can skate through life by going to Bible College and becoming a minister, don't take the law into your own hands- go to court . . . for an afternoon."

[Insert ending People's Court theme here: DA! D'DUM! DUM! followed by the wicked drum solo.]

Oh, Kanye . . .

2006-01-24T16:14:00.000-05:00

Why couldn't he just let Jesus Walk and leave it at that?

Delicates- Low Heat

2006-01-23T21:35:00.000-05:00

Problem: I hate wrinkled clothes.

Additional Problem: I hate ironing.

Ultimate solution: the dryer.

Does it remind you of this Seinfeld episode:

Kramer: Feel this. Yeah! It's piquing hot. It's fresh out of the dryer. Hey Elaine you have to feel my pants . Elaine: I'll see you later. Kramer: Oh. All right. You don't know what your missing. I'm loving this, Jerry! I am never putting on another piece of clothing unless it's straight out of the dryer.

Hijinks ensue when Kramer gets the calzone place to put his pants in their oven.

I used to do this all the time when I was growing up. My room was in the basement, as was the laundry room, so it was easy access to the dryer. I don't think I ever ironed then. I had to go without in college [no way was I going to run down four flights of stairs and pay 75 cents]. Same thing in our apartment days. I started using the dryer again in our last house, but only sparingly.

My in-laws have one of those steamers that they let me use when we were there over the holidays. In my first attempt using it I burned my hand. That's all I needed to know. I've never been burned by my trusty, reliable dryer.

Today was the first time I reinstituted the time-honored tradition at the condo. I had absolutely no desire to iron so I threw my jeans and sweater in the dryer. One has to be careful not to leave the clothes in too long, lest they end up shrinking. About four minutes gets the job done. I nailed the timing on it. And then I was able to enjoy a few extra minutes of added warmth. Friends, can life get any better than this?

We have really bad static in the house, so a dryer sheet is a must. My jeans felt like plastic-wrap on my legs for a few minutes.

Like Cosmo, I might never put on another piece of clothing unless it's straight out of the dryer.

The Only Thing We Have To Fear . . .

2006-01-23T16:22:00.000-05:00

From Seth Godin's blog:

"The enemy of creativity is fear.

The enemy of fear, in the short run anyway, is not creativity. It's the fetal position.

The fetal position doesn't work. It feels like it ought to, but it just gives you more room for your fear."

'Tis true.

SNL- Better When It's Not Live

2006-01-23T15:59:00.000-05:00

A tribute to the Young Chuck Norris.

HT: Blurred Brain

A Whale of A Time

2006-01-22T23:02:00.000-05:00

I don't know much, but the little I do know could've prove helpful to people in London yesterday.

People in England sprang to action as a bottlenose whale was swimming in the Thames River, a body of water not known for it's whale population. They dispatched help to try to get the whale back to the ocean. Unfortunately, the whale didn't survive the trip and died. Shocker.

Growing up with animals, I understood that they didn't like to hang around the house to die. Both cats and dogs alike would wander off into the woods, returning to the wild to meet their end. As Kelly and I watched the scene unfold we asked the same question: does anyone think it went down-river to die?

Hmmmm, I guess we were right. Whale dies. Thousands of dollars wasted.

BTW, forget about the Thames or Moby Dick, this is still the best whale story ever.

What time is it?

2006-01-22T22:55:00.000-05:00

Just flipping through channels, we came across the new VH1 reality show featuring Public Enemy Rapper Flavor Flav; Flavor [as his friends call him] is famous for two things: 1) saying "YEEE-AH BOYZ!!!!" and 2) wearing large clocks around his neck. This reality show is a Bachelor-like dating show where he picks from a large group of girls to find his love match.

But instead of giving the girls roses, what does he give to the ladies? Oh yes: large clocks to wear around their neck. How is this not the greatest show on television?

Bring the noise. Fight the power.

Bad Boys . . .

2006-01-21T21:16:00.000-05:00

Another post title, another song.

As I was wrapping up that last post I heard some banging outside. There were three punk kids throwing stuff at the front door of the business across the street. They were younger kids [ages 12-14] but you never know who's packing around here so I called 911. They said they'd send someone right away. The kids kept pounding the glass door with a bar until it finally shattered. Instead of running far away, they half ran through the parking lot and hung out. The waited around for about fifteen minutes after my call and then walked up the street. A squad car pulled up half an hour later.

I know the police can't be everywhere but, with all the cop cars that fly up our street, you think they might have had someone come sooner. When the officer arrived I crossed the street to show him the damage. One glass door was slightly damaged, and the other was shattered. There's no way I could ID those kids, so I guess the business will have to make an insurance claim on the door.

Life in the city. You can't get much better than this.

If I were a carpenter . . .

2006-01-21T20:01:00.000-05:00

So today was our day at Christ Hospital for our birthing class. Oh happy day! Describing this eight-hour experience is a daunting task, but I have to try.

We showed up with the prerequisite pillows in hand and met our instructor Irene. She's been a delivery room nurse for twenty years and was well qualified to teach the class. I headed immediately to the back row, still understanding that if you're going to screw around you need to be in the back. We sat next to this guy named Dave and his wife Holly. Dave was my kind of people, possessing his own arsenal of smart-aleck remarks that we were able to unleash with military-like precision. Ironically Dave is on staff at the Crossroads Community Church, working in their children's ministry. We were even able to talk about the hilarious Real Old Testament. There were a bunch of cool people in the class that made the experience more enjoyable.

After we introduced ourselves it was straight to the diagrams. It feel like Biology all over again [note to reader: the only "D" I ever received was my last semester at Bible College in Biology. Why does a minister need to know Biology?]. Suffice to say, I now understand why men fifty years ago never went into the delivery room. There are some things that happen in there that men could survive without knowing. But trust me, I learned them today. I saw video . . . after video . . . after video. Tell me, dear friends, what possesses a woman expecting a child to say, "Hey, the baby's coming. Let's allow a film crew into the delivery room, film me in the least flattering view possible, and get full view of my "hoo-ha" so thousands of future parents can watch for years to come"??? This is why the Cleavers slept in separate beds [maybe Wally and the Beav' were adopted].

So after lunch we ended up on the floor to work on breathing/massage junk. It was a good . . . for the ladies who got free massages. But after seeing all the diagrams/video footage about the birth, I'm ready to give Kelly anything she wants. The craziest thing that Irene had us do all day was to spoon while lying down on the floor as she read some visualization about walking on the beach [seriously]. I would've laughed but I was trying to fall asleep. In the moment, I wondered what effect a nuclear blast would do to us. Years later, when archaeologists discovered our bodies, they would've had a heck of time figuring out what was going on there.

All in all, it was a good day. I'm glad we took this class in one day instead of spreading it out over weeks. And I think we'll be ready to bring home baby.

I need to take a shower.

This Used To Be My Playground

2006-01-20T15:38:00.000-05:00

I ask forgiveness for using a Madonna song as the title to this post, but it was what came to me. I am what I am, so what else can I be?

I had some errands to run this morning and was excited at the opportunity to get out and about. Working the first five-day week at "the home office" was good, but it's a little too quiet around there. I like to be around people. So my plan was to finish the errands and get some work done at Panera.

Yes, the Panera where I used to work.

It's a strange feeling walking into the place your old place of employment; you see everything from a different perspective, and aren't quite sure how to act. Right when I walked in the store phone rang and I felt the impulse to answer it. It was nice to know that it wasn't my problem. There are a few new employees but still quite a people I know. They were excited to see me and wanted to catch up on life. Actually, they told me they wished I was still working there as some of the new hires weren't working out.

I got a couple bagels and went to sit down and employees came up wanting to talk to me. After awhile I pulled the laptop out, hoping to send a message but the message failed. I ended up talking the whole time I was there. Not exactly what I planned, but it was a good time. It always feels good to be missed. I'm not quite sure what God was doing during my time at Panera, but maybe it was to reach out to the people I worked with. Hopefully I'll figure it out someday.

I really love people. I'd prefer to be around people I dislike than no people at all. That's why ministry is the perfect profession for me. God cares about people and needs someone to relay the message. Who better than a schlep like me? Sure, I have a lot I'm still working on with myself, but I like people.

I know I've quoted this before, but the late sportswriter Dick Schaap said, Âoften I am asked what my favorite sport is, and I always say Âpeople.Â I collect people.Â Good answer.

So I'm making sure that I don't hide at the home office but get out and about to meet people.

*Madonna is a person. Does that justify the title?

Convicts verses Catholics

2006-01-19T21:57:00.000-05:00

This is the one night of the year I root against Xavier.

I'm not one of those University of Cincinnati fans that's intimidated by the crosstown rival. I like Xavier, but UC is my team. I just mapped the distance between our condo and both schools and they're equidistant; we're 2.5 from both UC and XU. I know I'm a dork for just looking that up, but I was curious.

The good thing about this UC season is I'm not as anxious as I usually get. They're basically playing with the five starters. With the loss of Huggins and all the players [the Kirkland loss was a killer] I'm just glad if they do anything. A NCAA tournament birth would be a huge victory. Through thick and thin, they're still my team no matter what President Zimpher does to try to wreck it.

Bearcats have a seven point halftime lead. If they come out strong the first few minutes of the second half, I give 'em the "W."

We shall see . . .

Skyline Time!

2006-01-18T21:32:00.000-05:00

Ate at Skyline tonight. Now that's living.

As a baby, I think I was transitioned from bottled milk straight to Skyline Chili. Living in the Cincinnati, keys to survival are oxygen, water, and Skyline. For those of you not from the area, Skyline Chili isn't like regular chili. It's a thinner consistency, having a hint of chocolate and cinnamon, and it's definitely an acquired taste. It's unique to the 'Nati, as Kelly's Elvis even asked about it. By the way, eating Gold Star feels like committing adultery.

I try to eat Skyline once a week, though I'm off that schedule since moving downtown. I've eaten in most of the restaurants in the greater Cincinnati area. My favorite location is the original in Price Hill [although they tore down the old building and moved the place down the street]. The one who serves the best chili is the Mason franchise; they never skimp on the portions.

So how can you make the Skyline experience even better? Habanero Cheese, baby! Sure it sets your mouth on fire, but it's well worth it. It's only for a limited time, so you gotta get it while it lasts.

And if you're from out of town and have never tried Skyline, it's well worth the trip our city. Fly into CVG and there's one in nearby Florence, Kentucky.

Can't wait to sneak some Skyline into the baby girl's bottle.

When The Truth Isn't The Truth

2006-01-17T21:28:00.000-05:00

We really need to be honest about this . . .

. . . about a writer who wasn't really honest.

By now you've heard the embarrassing tale of one James Frey, whose literary career was boosted into hyper-drive when his book, A Million Little Pieces, became the first non-fiction book in Oprah's book club. The book is a memoir detailing James' life of drug and alcohol abuse that led to prison time; somehow he was able to overcome all this and reclaim his life. Pieces became a best-seller despite the fact that the book is full of fabrications by Frey. This wouldn't be such a big deal but the book was presented as nonfiction. "Nonfiction," for those unfamiliar with the term, means "literature that is not fictional." And, going further, "fiction" is "something invented by the imagination." So since parts of the book were invented by Frey's imagination, that would disqualify it as nonfiction.

But many people are giving Frey a free pass. They say that the fabrications aren't hurting anyone and, since the story is so inspirational, we should let it slide. Oprah herself said that since "hundreds of thousands of people whose lives have been changed by this book" it was no big deal. She also said Frey "stepped out of that history to be the man that he is today, and to take that message to save other people and allow them to save themselves."

Oprah has spoken. The issue should be settled. But we will press on.

This is a case of people underestimating the seriousness of the subject. Even Frey himself doesn't seem to get it. On Larry King the other night he said the following:

"The book is 432 pages long. The total page count of disputed events is 18, which is less than five percent of the total book."

Eighteen pages. No big deal. I might be able to go with that, but it wasn't as if he messed with minor events. He added years of prison to his life. That goes beyond a little stretching the truth. The manipulated material that Frey injected into the story gave the tale its power. This is indeed a big deal. If James Cameron's love story version of Titanic were actually true I might've cried at the end. Instead I laughed.

I'm not naive enough to think that Frey is the first person to ever fabricate the truth in a memoir. But the high-profile nature of this case cannot be ignored. If we turn our eyes to this we are giving permission for future writers looking for a payday to make up stories of inspiration and pawn it off as reality.

Laura Vanderkam in USA Today summed up the issue well,

"A newspaper story of a kid with a learning disability who overcomes rough odds to go to college inspires us to try harder in our lives in a way that fiction— where we can manipulate the outcomes to make success certain— can't. The outcome is never certain in non-fiction. Stories in this genre show we can be the architects of our existence. The good Frey might do for addicts with his books is outweighed by the damage he has done to future authors' abilities to convince readers of stories that will change their lives."

Everyone thinks it's about holding Frey to an unreasonable standard. We can't think too small here. It has nothing to do with him. It's actually about all those people whose lives were changed by his book. A book based on lies.

We need to hold people accountible to tell the truth. If you own the book, I'd suggest trying to return it for a refund. That would be a statement.

MIA

2006-01-17T21:27:00.000-05:00

The new season of American Idol has me pondering the question that plagues me every year at this time:

Where have you gone, Brian Dunkleman?

We hardly knew thee . . .

When You Love Sports Too Much . . .

2006-01-17T17:10:00.000-05:00

. . . this happens.

You Big Baby!

2006-01-17T15:32:00.000-05:00

Went with Kelly to the doctor this morning to see an ultrasound of the little girl. I got to see the first one a few months ago, but it's such a fascinating experience I really wanted to go again.

The only detraction of the whole trip is having to actually go into the OBGYN's office. There are some things there- models, diagrams, special instruments and charts- that men just shouldn't have to see [and isn't painting an examination room pink predictable?]. There should be a special testosterone room in every OBGYN office so that men can maintain their machismo. How about some SportsCenter or a power saw? Dang, I'd settle for a freaking Sports Illustrated in the waiting room [although I was able to find some good dish about Kevin and Britney]. I'm pretty sure that if I was forced to go into this office before we had the baby, there might not be one now.

That being said, Kelly really likes the doctor, as do I. I went to elementary school through high school with her doctor's daughter which, by the way, adds absolutely no awkwardness to having to be in the office. It is nice to know that the person who will be in the delivery room with you is someone you know and trust.

So to the good news: the baby's very healthy. We even got to see her sticking her tongue out. More and more I'm looking forward to her arrival.

But the one interesting thing we learned today is that the child is already three pounds, three ounces. At this stage in the pregnancy, that puts her in the 94th percentile of baby sizes. In normal people speak, this is a big honkin' baby. Now there's always the chance that she had an early growth spurt and her weight will even out through the next few months. The doctor factored out her current growth rate and gave us a computer generated image of what she will look like at 4 weeks old. Apparently it's something like this:

Pray for Kelly. Not only is she big, but I guess she got my looks.

Finding A Voice

2006-01-16T15:21:00.000-05:00

This week's NPR religion podcast is causing me to revisit the Pat Robertson remarks about Israeli PM Ariel Sharon.

The evangelical Christian community was quick to separate themselves from Uncle Pat's ramblings. This leaves the media with a new dilemma. No self-respecting Christian wants to be identified with Robertson's opinions; he's just a lone-lunatic who represents only himself. So now, they need to find a new spokesman, someone to quote when something crazy happens in the world. Amy Sullivan at the Washington Monthly blog offered up her suggestions to replace Pat and also defunct blowhard Jerry Falwell. Her list frightens me more than a hairspray shortage at the TBN studios. Here's the men she offers up [notice no females. Interesting?] and my immediate vote on their representation of the evangelical nation.

Ted Haggard- Not my President.
Rick Warren- The guy I [purposely] like best on this list.
Brian McLaren- Does he even know what he believes?
Joel Osteen- Um, no.
Rod Parsley- Um, seriously, no.
Franklin Graham- I'd rather have his dad.
Jim Wallis- Well intentioned, but a too liberal for even me.
Ron Sider- Call me ignorant but I really don't know who he is
Tony Campolo- I just can't see it.
Herb Lusk- See Ron Sider.
TD Jakes- Sorry, but thou art loosed.

So with my almost unanimous rejection of this list I'm left to wonder a few things.
- Are my standards too high?
- Am I expecting these guys to be/do more than humanly possible?
- Is the problem with me, feeling caught in the middle of the conservative/liberal theological spectrum?
- I am just stuck up?

I'm still sorting through those questions but, in the meantime, who's my choice to speak for American evangelicals?

No one.

That's right, I'd prefer silence.

It's an impossible task, so why even bother? No one would think of selecting one person to be the official spokesperson for all American Caucasians. And it's the same thing with evangelicals. If you gathered that group above in a room, how many issues do you think they'd agree on? I'd be embarrassed to hold the theology of at least half the guys on that list so why would I want them answering spiritual/theological/cultural questions on my behalf? True, I share some of the same foundational beliefs as these guys- Jesus, Bible, etc. But when some of them open their mouths, it makes me want to hide . . . or hurl . . . or do both.

Obviously this whole debate hinges on whether or not I continue to identify myself as an evangelical. Of that I'm not too sure. I find myself drifting back to my Restoration Movement roots where just being a Christian was enough. This way no one has to do the talking and I can just let Jesus speak for me.

If only it were that simple.

It's Tough Living In The 'Nati

2006-01-15T14:13:00.000-05:00

Despite a good week personally, I had a rough week as a Cincinnati sports fan. Thinking Sunday evening, "well, even though the Bengals are out of it, at least I have my Bearcats," by Monday night all was lost. Armein Kirkland tears an ACL and two of my teams are done in the same week.

The Enquirer felt my pain and today published their "what-if's" of Cincinnati sports.

Maybe the new Reds owners will give me something to cheer about.

CityLink Center Revisited

2006-01-14T23:19:00.000-05:00

In my first post about the proposed CityLink Center, I laid out why I would invest funds into starting urban churches rather than in a one-shop mall for those in need. My thinking was derived from a pastor's perspective, having nothing to do with the current political controversy plaguing the project. Because of some of the comments posted on Beit Carr, and not wanting my beliefs to be misinterpreted, I wanted to expound on my previous post. Three thoughts:

1) I agree with One City's vision to help people out. Just because I disagree with how they're going about it, I understand and appreciate what they want to accomplish. Unlike others, I don't believe that the groups behind this project are driven by ego, but that backers honestly care about the lives of impoverished Cincinnatian; they should be commended for their move to action. Just because I wouldn't do it this way doesn't believe I'm against what they're doing. This isn't about theology, but methodology so I'm good. If they've honestly researched this and believe that this is God's calling for their ministries, then I say, "Godspeed." That being said . . .

2) You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. This is quickly turning into a PR nightmare for the One City group. Many [vocal] West End residents are against CityLink and, most likely, they will never sway from that position. But still, I think you have to make a concerted effort to at least pretend to listen to the community opposition. Constantly waving the flag of "we're a private corporation so we can do whatever we want" isn't the best way to win friends and influence people.

3) I don't believe churches are a "magic wand" solution to our city's problems. However, I still think they are the best solution. As one person commented, it's not merely about more churches, but communities consisting of passionate believers willing to advance the cause of Christ in the city. Yes, this might seem simplistic, but if we followers of Jesus truly believe in the promises of Scripture then this shouldn't be a stretch. That's why I'm doing what I'm doing.

I think this whole thing is going to get uglier as the weeks go by. It'll be interesting to see how it all plays out.

Leaving Las Vegas

2006-01-14T11:56:00.000-05:00

It's pretty sad when you take pictures of fake landmarks when you already saw the original. Kelly's favorite thing in Vegas was the fountains at the Bellagio, so on our last night here we went to see them one more time. At night there's a show every fifteen minutes so we hung around for a couple. The first time we watched it from the hotel side, facing the Paris casino. It's a cool little show. It's amazing how people will clamor over lighted fountains. Maybe that's the kind of thing they should try at Fountain Square.

This was a great mini-vacation, one "last hurrah" before the little girl arrives. We knew about this trip since Christmas, so I still don't feel like I've started the new year yet. But I'm rested and I'm ready to hit things hard when we get back to town. We have a full day tomorrow: preaching for the last time out at Amelia and Echo tomorrow night, so I'd better be ready.

We're sitting in the airport now, an hour and a half before our flight leaves [By the way, props to McCarran Airport for free wi-fi. Cheap old CVG makes you pay]. We're on a three-hour time difference, so we'll have to get back in sync with Cincinnati time, but after the jet-lag we felt from our Israel trip, this should be a piece of cake.

Quoting the brilliant philosopher, "Mama, I'm coming home."

I'm On A Break

2006-01-13T12:33:00.000-05:00

The CityLink Center has stirred some strong feelings in a lot of people. Just today, a West End resident wrote an Enquirer editorial about the Center. I have some more comments about my thinking on this topic, as well as comments on others comments from my post, but I'm going to wait until we're back from out west. Until then, feel free to chime in and keep the conversation going.

A Little Less Conversation

2006-01-13T12:03:00.000-05:00

We have one more day here in Vegas, as we fly out tomorrow morning. We've seen a little bit of everything. Casinos, Hoover Dam [pic below], and Kelly finally got to see here Elvis impersonator. Yesterday we even had the chance to stop by and see fellow CCU alum Adam Reid who is a middle school minister at the massive Central Christian Church out here. Sounds like he's doing some great ministry. I just can't imagine having to do youth ministry where your kids are constantly exposed to soft-core porn ads 24/7. He says it's a struggle, but it allows them the opportunity for an open-dialogue about all things sexual. I have a lot of respect for these guys doing ministry out here.

I've seen/heard some of the most bizarre things here. Best story: we were driving down the road and this guy was jamming to his car stereo. The song blaring out: Michael Jackson's Black and White. I couldn't get over it. I thought that maybe the song came on the radio and he was too lazy to change the station. But four minutes later we pull up to an intersection and the same guy is still listening to the same Jacko's song. YES, THE GUY HAD THE SONG ON LOOP! I don't care what town you're in, that's just not right.

So far, we're $3.00 down to the slots. Fortunately, we're not the big gambling type, so it shouldn't get any worse. I'll keep you posted on what trouble we get to today.

Elvis Lives

2006-01-13T12:01:00.000-05:00

Dam!

2006-01-13T11:58:00.000-05:00

This Just Looks Vegas

2006-01-12T18:18:00.000-05:00

Viva Las Vegas!

2006-01-12T12:08:00.000-05:00

Where's the best place in the United States for a pastor and his pregnant wife to spend a few days of vacation?

Las Vegas, of course.

In perhaps one of the greatest Christmas presents ever, the in-laws gave us a four day/three night trip anywhere in the continental United States. After much deliberation, Kelly and I chose a place where we'd most likely never go with kids. And now, here we are in Sin City. The best way to describe it: Gatlinberg with gambling . . . and some billboards of half naked women. I'm averting my eyes, but still we're having a blast.

Fortunately we're staying in a hotel that doesn't have a casino in it, so it's a much tamer atmosphere. We made it in yesterday at noon Pacific time, got our rental car and checked in at the hotel. After getting a bite to eat at the famous In-N-Out Burger, we headed for some of the casinos on the Strip. We walked until our feet felt like they would fall off but, as we often do on our vactions, we saw everything. I'll post more later, but here's a pic from the fountains in front of the Bellagio for ya.

CityLink Center

2006-01-10T17:43:00.000-05:00

I've withheld comment [until now] concerning the proposed CityLink Center set to be placed in the West End area of Cincinnati. Sponsored by a group called One City- a group primarily backed by the Vineyard and Crossroads Community, the two largest Protestant churches in the area- CityLink combines the services of several non-profit organizations already serving the inner-city and places them under one roof. It's supposed to provide one-stop shopping for people in need. The Center is modeled after the Path Mall in Los Angeles, although CityLink will be double the size.

The plans for CityLink have been public for awhile now, everyone was just waiting on a location. Because of the urban renewal effort taking place within the city, wherever One City chose as a site was going to invite controversy. Once an abandoned factory in the West End was chosen, local community members began a vocal, NIMBY campaign against the center. You could see this coming: a lot of people banking on the city being revitalized have begun to invest in urban properties. The announcement of a center for the down-and-out built in their backyard put them in a bad mood. West End residents are claiming that the center will force the relocation of all the city's under-resourced to their neighborhood, which will decrease property values. To their dismay, because One City is a private company, there's nothing residents can do about it.

It needs to be noted that many of the organizations already signed to relocate into CityLink are currently located in Over-The-Rhine. None of them have a history in the West End. It's naive to think that these organizations exiting OTR has nothing to do with the condo/loft construction taking place in the area. In ten years, the poor will not be able to afford to live there. Can you say gentrification? I find it interesting that no politician is willing to take up for the objecting West End residents. But I really don't want to focus on that issue here. I have a different take on CityLink altogether.

CityLink is a bad idea because of the thinking behind it. As I said, the powers behind One City are two of our area's megachurches: one suburban [Vineyard] and one a hybrid urban/suburban [Crossroads]. The main reason for starting CityLink, obviously not the official One City reason but my interpretation, is that these churches want to fix the problems of the inner-city. So they got their heads together and decided the "real problem" is that people in need have to go through too many organizations to get all the necessary help. If only they could get everything in one place at one time, then they could succeed. The solution: one-stop shopping and, thus, CityLink.

What we have here is a hyper-modern solution for a problem that cannot be solved this easily. Logical thinking would lead you to believe that it's all about instituting the proper structures and then you will be able to methodically solve the problem. But despite the best efforts from the best and the brightest, this has yet to work anywhere. I think the true solution is deeper than community leaders [including religious leaders] are willing to look.

When we decided to relocate to urban Cincinnati and start a church, we began to strategize about how we would reach this community. The big temptation was to try to provide for physical needs. There are so many in our community who have needs, it just seemed natural to start there. But a friend informed us that there are over 900 community service organizations in Walnut Hills alone. People are already trying [massively at that] to fill these needs. So if there is more than enough resources available to take care of these problems, then why do they still exist?

Here's what you've been waiting for:
IT'S NOT A PHYSICAL NEEDS PROBLEM! IT'S A SPIRITUAL PROBLEM!

Aaron and I know the pastor of a church not too far from where CityLink's proposed location is. We met with him a few months ago to talk about doing ministry in the city. He gave us some excellent advice, such as be prepared to go the distance because urban ministry is built on trust and trust takes time. But of all the things he said, one thing has stuck with me. In observing his mission field, he recognized all the local government and parachurch organizations working in the community and found one thing lacking. His words: "These people don't need bread; what they need is The Bread Of Life."

We're doing things backward, starting from the wrong point. Somehow we started believing the following lie as if it were Scripture: "First you have to take care of their physical needs before you can take care of their spiritual needs." Nowhere does the Bible teach this, but we think it to be gospel. Because we've bought into this mentality, we've become apologetic about the way we do ministry and have overcompensated by hitting physical needs perhaps more than we should. I think that the main reason we do this is out of ignorance. We know how to give stuff away, but do we know how to tell people about Jesus.

I totally understand what One City and these churches are trying to accomplish. I in no way question their motivation; they are doing this because they love people. But if they really wanted to make a difference in the city, there are better ways. Actually there is one thing that they could do that would make a huge difference in the city.

Watch me work here: WE NEED TO START MORE CHURCHES.

Oh yeah, I went there.

What we're missing from the city are communities living out their faith. Without churches that are actively living out Christ on a daily basis, these places will never change. It'll be group after group of "short-term missions trips" that do a lot for the volunteer but little for the people needing ministry. Until people are living out Christ in these areas EVERY DAY, loving as He loved and serving as He lived, then there is no chance for change. I'm telling you, friends, churches are the answer. These churches then become the arm of outreach in their communities, while keeping Jesus the main thing.

And while I'm at it, it's my belief that the reason our city is in such dire straights is our fault, the fault of Christians, in the first place. At one point in Cincinnati history, churches abounded in our urban areas. As neighborhoods began to deteriorate, the decision was made to flee for the hills. Thriving congregations left for safer suburban areas where they could avoid the problems the city brought. Ironically, now the suburban churches feel the need to come back and clean up the mess they helped create. Painful, but true.

I realize this might be harsh, but I'm calling it like I see it. And I don't want you to think that I view myself as "more spiritual" because I'm here in the city. I'm just doing ministry where God has called me; we all have different callings. If He's called you to the 'burbs or the rural areas that's cool, then do what you can where you are. But if He's really called you to the city, and you feel the need to do something, then go all the way. Move down here. Get dirty. Don't do it from afar.

I care about the people of this city. I want to see them cared for. . But more than that, I want to see them embrace the lifesaving grace of Jesus Christ. It's not an either/or type thing; we need to help people holisticly. But the emphasis must remain on Jesus. More than doing good works, we're called by God to spread his message far and wide. That's our number one mission.

And I can't apologize for that.

A lot has been written about CityLink. Here are some articles about, for, and against it. If you want more, try a Google of CityLink Cincinnati.

Only In My Hometown

2006-01-10T08:29:00.000-05:00

"Johannas Pope, 61, died Aug. 29, 2003, and she didn't want to be buried . . ."

An attic, a television, and some air conditioning. This whole thing reminds me of an 80's movie franchise.

But at least she had a pretty dress to wear.

The Real Old Testament

2006-01-09T08:38:00.000-05:00

Here's an official Beit Carr endorsement:

Last August, through an obscure Google search, I came across a website for an independent movie produced by a couple of brothers out in California. They made a comedy movie morphing MTV's The Real World and the book of Genesis. The result: The Real Old Testament. This December they put out the DVD so I pre-ordered a copy that arrived right before Christmas. It was everything I thought it would be and more. I honestly think that this is the funniest movie I've seen all year [sure, the year just started, but the movie has staying power].

The film traces the paths of the major characters of Genesis in a documentary type format, totally mimicking The Real World. Like the show, participants do one-on-one "reflection interviews" with the camera, describing their thoughts and feelings as the story progresses. And yes, they even have someone portraying God [co-director Curtis Hannum] who allows us a chance to see The Lord's true opinions about creation ["if I had it to do all over again, I don't think I'd create ticks"].

With movies like this, there's always a fine-line to walk between comedy and blasphemy. But this movie finds its way between the two. I'm not sure if Curtis and Paul Hannum [the movie's creators] intended their movie for church use, but it could be. The Real Old Testament is surprising accurate to the Biblical text; they even put chapter and verse on the screen as each scene begins. And they don't hold back from the seedier parts of the storyline: How did Cain go about killing Abel? Was Abraham really that gullible? What were Lot's daughters thinking? And what was up with Rachel and her mandrakes?

I won't lie to you: this is not for the ultra-conservative crowd. Adam and Eve are shown naked; though digitally "blurred out" they're still rather exposed. And there is some foul language, which is also [mostly] bleeped out but still discernible. But despite all this, I definitely recommend this movie because the message remains authentic. I think this film would resonate with people who are struggling to connect Scripture that is thousands of years old to life today. To them, this film might actually make the Bible seem more real. I'm trying to figure out how to use it in our current message series. Maybe I should partner with these guys and produce The Real Old Testament Bible study?

If you really need to be sold on the movie, go to the website, click on video clips and check out the "Covenant" clip. It shows God explaining to Abraham the covenant of circumcision. All men will resonate with Abraham's line, "YOU WANT ME TO DO WHAT?!?!?!" I can't remember ever laughing so hard. I guarantee, if you watch that clip, you'll get the DVD too.

Good flick. Two thumbs up.

Ouch! That'll Sting For Awhile

2006-01-08T21:09:00.000-05:00

What if Tim Krumrie hadn't broke his leg in Super Bowl XXIII?

What if Kenyon Martin hadn't broke his leg before the 2000 NCAA tourney?

And now . . .

What if Carson Palmer had lasted more than two downs in the Bengals' 2006 playoff game?

FYI, all will be forgotten if we can get a Lombardi trophy in the next five years.

Man Up!

2006-01-07T22:41:00.000-05:00

Here's hoping that the Bengals will be able to keep up a weekend of Cincinnati sports domination.

The Bearcats pulled out their tenth win in a row at Marquette [you thumped previously unbeaten UConn this week]. The huge performance of the day was turned in by Eric Hicks who posted the first triple-double by a Cincinnati player since 2001. Yes, Eric did man-up. UC is set to play at Connecticut on Monday night.

And now, from the disrespect department, all I've heard all week from every national commentator is how the Bengals don't stand a chance against Pittsburgh tomorrow. I think that crow will be on the Bristol, Connecticut cafeteria menu tomorrow night. My prediction: Cincinnati by six, 27-21.

"WHO-DEY!" is what is say. "WHO-DEY!" indeed.

Daniel, My Brother . . .

2006-01-06T23:20:00.000-05:00

With the end of 7th Heaven in sight, apparently the American viewing audience was in need of another television show detailing the life of a minister and his family. NBC is attempting to fill the void with their new show The Book of Daniel.

I'm always interested in the media's interpretations on faith, so I decided to watch tonight's two-hour premier. The best word I could use to define the show would be "spastic." In case you didn't know, the show has nothing to do with the Biblical book of Daniel. Actually, I don't think it has anything to do with anything.

Let me try to fill you in on the series storyline:

Daniel [last name Webster] is a pill-popping Episcopal priest married to a martini muzzling wife. Their raising a family where one of son is gay, the other son is an adopted Chinese teen who's having sex with a deacon's daughter, and their only daughter sells drugs [but doesn't use them] to make a little extra money. The priest's family has a maid who smokes the chronic that she steals from the daughter. The priest's father is a bishop who's having an affair with the priest's governing bishop, all while his wife is suffering from Alzheimers. Things get bad when the priest's brother-in-law, who handles the church's money, embezzles the funds and then dies of a heart attack. The brother-in-laws wife was having an affair with his secretary. To find the lost funds, the priest enlists his a member of the Catholic clergy with mafia connections. And if this wasn't enough, the priest constantly converses with a Life-Saver distributing Jesus who looks like he's straight out of 1970.

I think that about covers it.

Thanks, NBC, for producing such a realistic view of what it's like to be in the ministry. I only wish my life was as tame as old Daniel's.

I'm just saying the Peacock Network better watch out: they're going to get Uncle Pat talking again.

Lose Yourself

2006-01-06T07:50:00.000-05:00

Dear Pat Robertson,

Thanks for trying to help out, but we don't think we need you anymore. You've become everyone's favorite crazy uncle- always putting your foot in your mouth whenever you speak. We never know what you're going to say next. From calling down God's wrath on a small Pennsylvania town, to calling for political assassinations of South American dictators, you've always kept us guessing what you'll say next. We'll admit: it's been somewhat entertaining.

But you've changed, to much for us to stomach anymore. We when you find yourself on the same side as the President of Iran [the same guy who believes the Holocaust was a myth], you've probably gone too far. Calling Ariel Sharon's stroke a punishment from God because he handed over the Gaza Strip to the Palestinians? Come on, Pat. Now you've become that embarrassing uncle- the one who likes to expose himself in public. No one wants to see that at family reunions; we're trying to eat here.

Plus, as a result of you're comments, we keep having to apologize for you all over town. Whenever we talk about the family, everyone brings up our demented Uncle Pat who goes around waving his "privates" at people. We can't keep putting out your fires. It's getting old . . . kinda like you. That's why we're suggesting that it's time to hang it up.

You had a good run there, Pat. I mean, you ran for President! Isn't that enough? Why not find a good retirement community where you can say all the crap you want while playing Bridge [far, far away from any microphones]? It's about that time. We hear Florida's nice this time of year. And you look pretty good in flip-flops.

Sincerely,
Sane Christians Everywhere

p.s. We'll let you know about the location for Thanksgiving dinner. We're thinking about cancel this year.

Hitting the Links

2006-01-05T18:44:00.000-05:00

Every once in awhile you have to practice tough love. This is one of those times.

It was time to redo the links on the right side of the page. I try to recommend sites that I frequently read. That means I've had to drop some existing sites off the list. Some of my friends have great things to say, but have been keeping there mouths shut. The MIA bloggers have to go [is it just me or has Coates' blog has become the Jimmy Hoffa of the world wide web?]. Perhaps this move on my part will get these guys back posting again. We can only hope. Like I said, it's all done in love.

But, on the brighter side, you'll notice some new additions. I listed the sites of all my favorite sports teams. As [former?] Jets coach Herm Edwards says, "You play to win the game! Hello?"

And check out some of those blogs over there. Evan Casey has finally arrived, Jeremy Furniss is ready to talk about his kid [who could be born any day], and, most notably, one Dr. Jon Weatherly of Cincinnati Christian University now displays his wit online for all to see.

I know if you have time to read this, you have time to check these sites out.

College Football Is Done

2006-01-05T00:35:00.000-05:00

Since I stayed up past midnight to watch college football's championship game [the BCS is still lame], I thought I'd at least jot a few late-night thoughts . . .

Why start this game so late? Kelly went to bed five hours ago. There is no west coast bias until it comes to the starting times of these games. Kick-off wasn't until 8:30. Are California's ratings so important that you give kids [and people who have to wake up early] in the Eastern Time Zone no opportunity to watch the best games? You wonder why kids these days aren't as into the major sports. They've never been able to stay up late enough to watch playoff/championship games.

Is instant replay worth it? College football held out from instant replay until this past year. All season it was working well until this game; this one has been a mess. This officiating crew has had way too many calls to the booth. Instant replay did even more to prolong this game.

Dan Fouts is unbearable. Playing quarterback for the Chargers doesn't make you a great color-commentator. Didn't his unsuccessful stint on Monday Night Football teach us anything? And I really do love that Keith Jackson is still announcing games, but I think it's time for him to hang it up. It takes him ten seconds to get around to describing what actually happened. Team these two guys together and a great game becomes a little annoying. My take: drop Fouts and I'll tolerate Jackson.

Vince Young is incredible. I just watched him run in a touchdown to take the lead with 19 seconds left in the game. Barring a miracle, Texas will be the national champs. Even though his delivery is ugly, he gets the ball out quick. I know everyone is hyping Reggie Bush as the number one pick, but Vince Young might be able to be what everyone thought that Michael Vick would.

I'm glad I'm not at Mason anymore. Yep, Texas pulled it out. That being said, I would hate to have to be around Troy Clark tomorrow. Troy, the student minister at CCM, is a huge Texas fan. He wears that burnt orange crap everywhere. Of course, Troy takes Thursdays as his off-day. I bet he might just come into work anyway just to gloat. At least I won't have to listen to him.

It's way too late. Time for sleep.

Back To School

2006-01-04T20:45:00.000-05:00

My nephew Tyler had his tonsils removed today, which meant that his brother Kasey needed someone to take him to preschool. Not only that, but it was also the day that Kasey's mom was supposed to be class helper. Who would step up to take her place? Enter Uncle Steve.

Let the fun begin.

It's been awhile since I spent a few hours with a bunch of four-year olds. It might be awhile before I do it again. That being the case, let me fill you in on the lessons I learned on my day back in school.

Carpet squares are dumb. I can understand if you want to give the kids something to sit on so they don't get dust all over their bums. Carpet squares are perfect for tile floors. But they were using carpet squares on a carpeted area. What's the point? It's like wearing two layers of socks. I think it stems back to Buddy cutting a deal with local educators to get some cheap advertising.

You can do anything with markers, glue sticks, and paper plates. I was in charge of the craft table, which was making a weather wheel out of paper plates. I guess being a parent means an endless line of paper plates crafts coming home from school and work. If Nickelodeon ever makes MacGyver for kids, paper plates would be in every episode.

Bad aim starts early. Part of being a good room parent was making sure the classroom was tidy. This included the bathrooms- bathrooms being used by four-year old boys who had just recently become potty trained. Yeah, I was wiping up a lot of pee today. Unfortunately, it doesn't get much better thirty years later . . . um, with every other male but me.

I still hate B-A-N-A-N-A-S. Honestly, [special thanks to Gwen Stefani because I no longer need to use spell check for that word] I still can't stand that fruit. I don't think it's the taste so much as the texture. Of course, that was today's snack so I had to suck it up and eat the thing to be a good example. The things I do for the kids.

I'm ready for fatherhood. It was fun seeing the little girls today. I know most guys want a boy so they can do cool father/son stuff, but I'm really looking forward to having a little girl. They're adorable, they're precious, and less evil than little boys.

Plus they have better aim.

Back To Work

2006-01-03T18:52:00.000-05:00

So I woke up this morning and went to work. It was a shorter commute than normal. I put on a pair of shoes, walked downstairs and started working.

Maybe I should back up a bit: I quit Panera.

It happened right before Christmas. Apologies for not blogging about it, but I wanted to concentrate on doing nothing over the holidays [note: mission completed]. After three months of employment, the end has come.

The purpose for me working at Panera was twofold: 1) to meet people from the community with whom I could build relationships and 2) to make a little extra money on the side. Unfortunately, due to the fast-paced environment, I was unable to develop good relationships with patrons. My job was to get people in and out of the store as fast as possible, not to get to know them better. And while I was making money, it became more than a part time job. I should take it as a compliment that they appreciated my work ethic but that meant more hours than I needed. Panera, though a fine company, is extremely dysfunctional and the daily chaos was really getting to me.

There were other things at work here. At the end of last year, I was primed to get two different job offers that would've paid much better than Panera. I thought I would get offered both; I didn't get either. Kelly and I sat down and we discussed what my goals are. The reason we left our previous ministry, the reason we moved to Walnut Hills, is to start this church. I've been disappointed that I haven't been able to commit enough time to Echo.

This feeling has been brewing in me for a few weeks now. My first day at Panera was the day after my last day at Mason. I haven't had ample time to invest in our new ministry. And it was starting to bother me. Plus, coming home exhausted after eight hours of work, I found myself putting off church tasks in order to rest.

All of this led us to the following decision: I'm going to spend the first few months this year "full-time" at Echo. How long "a few months" will be remains to be seen. Our community has set a goal to have 60 people in our core group by June. This is a lofty goal, but I feel like I need to do some of the background work to help us get there.

The thing that kept me from making this decision was my lack of trust in God. Throughout this process, God has provided for us in every way. But the thought of not being able to do it all myself has kept me from diving in. Now I'm ready and . . .

I'm so excited, I just can't hide it.

Just this first day I was able to get some things done that I've been putting off for weeks. And, being a self-starter, I think working from home will work out for me. So I was "in to work" at 6:45 this morning, called it quits when Kelly came home this afternoon, and had a good first day.

Oh, and my boss is the coolest guy I know.

Christianity in Iraq

2006-01-02T13:49:00.000-05:00

I'm going to have to talk a little politics here, so sorry in advance to those I offend.
The President's decision to invade Iraq was supported by many evangelicals who lauded Bush's goal of giving the gift of freedom to the Iraqi people as "the Christian thing to do."

But the scene now playing out in the newly liberated country is that of many Christians fleeing Iraq for fear of persecution. NPR did a report [as did the Chicago Tribune] about Christians celebrating this Christmas in Iraq and, apparently, Christians there felt more protected under Sadaam's regime. They claimed there used be tolerance toward Christianity whereas, now, the country's Muslim leadership [95% of Iraqis practice Islam] is suffocating them. Another reason for alarm is the newly established Iraqi government. All the nation's power is being divided between different Muslim sects, providing no voice for Iraqi Christians. The wisest thing to do is for Christians to flee to nearby Jordan.

As American Christians lined up to support the President's decision to invade Iraq, did they even consider the well-being of their Iraqi brothers and sisters? And was establishing an Iraqi democracy worth it, if it ends up being an Islamic dominated government? It seems no one bothered to ask these questions beforehand.

Now this isn't meant as an insult to our troops serving in Iraq; they have a job to do and are giving it their all. Nor do I propose an immediate withdrawal from Iraq; we made the mess, so we need to clean it up. And this isn't an endorsement of the Hussein regime; he was lunatic and a tyrant. I just find it ironic that the very people who contend that America was established by Christians and for Christians, those who decry separation of church and state, blindly supported the Iraqi War- a war fought to [re]establish a country for Islam by Islam where Christians would demand separation of church [mosque] and state. To invade or not to invade? Which decision was the Christian thing to do? Just asking . . .

This story just begs the question that should haunt followers of Jesus who live in America: to which kingdom do our loyalties lie?

We should never stop asking the tough questions.

SNL Narnia Rap

2006-01-02T13:26:00.000-05:00

I did a poor job over the holidays trying to explain how funny the Narnia rap from the Christmas episode of Saturday Night Live was, so here's a link.

My favorite line: "You can call us Aaron Burr from the way we're dropping Hamiltons."

Is That You, Dave Shula?

2006-01-01T15:07:00.000-05:00

Way to go, Bengals.

Get the city excited with your best season in fifteen years, make the playoffs and then end the season by laying two enormous eggs: losing to Buffalo at home and then embarrassing yourself at Kansas City. Cincinnati goes from being the team no one wanted to see in the postseason to the one everyone wants to play. Our defensive secondary couldn't stop an arthritic turtle walking up the side of a mountain while towing a motor home. Peyton Manning is praying to see orange and black in a couple weeks.

This will be a suicidal week around town as leery Bengal fans experience flashbacks from the 1990's. Backing into the playoffs doesn't feel very nice.

What To Do With Your Extra Second

2005-12-31T19:24:00.000-05:00

Apparently we get an extra second this year [a leap second], because the earth is slowing down. I decided to use my extra second to hold down my favorite key on the keyboard, the left bracket. Here comes one second of pure enjoyment:

[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[

Man, now that's what I call living! Good times . . .

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Happy Birthday, Sis!

2005-12-31T16:07:00.000-05:00

Here's to the gal I always shared my birthday glory with, my sister Becky. She's twenty-five years-old today. She married to a great guy [a fellow pastor] and has been blessed with two beautiful kids. Life has been kind. Love you, Becky!

Toby Mac

2005-12-31T16:04:00.000-05:00

Congrats to Scott and Robyn Duebber, whose son Toby arrived into the world on December 28th. If Toby's a good boy, I just might let him date my daughter . . . in eighteen years. Scott wrote about the experience on his blog.

Love You Mucho

2005-12-30T22:50:00.000-05:00

For the second time since Steve has had his blog, I am taking control. The last time was for mean-spirited wishes after a certain UK vs. UC basketball game. But this time I take over to wish Steve a very happy 30th birthday.

Hey babe. How can I best wish you a happy birthday? I thought this would be the best card to give you -- you in your blog-happy world these days! I want you to read how much you mean to me.

What can I say about the man I've seen you become? I enjoyed meeting you, dating you, and marrying you in your 20s. What a decade, just in the years I've seen you experience! But it's also been a time of growth for you. I've seen God work on your heart to make you into the man you are today. I've grown to love you more and more through the years.

You've always been passionate about life and God's work. But that passion has matured over the years as you've allowed God to move and you've stepped out of the way to let Him lead, even though it's required patience. This year in particular has been such a blessing for me to watch you follow God in ways you've never stepped out in faith before. And I'm so happy to be here with you on the journey. I've loved learning to become a minister alongside you.

You've got so much to look forward to as you begin this new decade. You'll be a dad soon -- how cool that will be!? I can't wait to see you in action! I know you'll be great! And you'll see Echo Church grow and continue to accomplish God's purposes. And you'll even get to start off your 30th year with a trip to Vegas! Woo hoo! : )

There's no one I'd rather spend time with than you. You make me laugh, and we have so much fun together. I can't thank God enough for creating you and introducing you into the world 30 years ago. I'm so glad I get to spend the rest of life with you!

OK. Enough mushiness for today. People reading this might get a little nauseous by this point! : )
So thanks, everyone, for bearing with me on this. But I wanted a little public declaration so that everyone can see how proud I am to be Steve's wife.

Love you, babe. You're a twentysomething no longer. But that's OK. Thirty on you is pretty hot! : )

Kelly

30 on 30

2005-12-30T14:38:00.000-05:00

Taking a twist off a line from Van Halen's Hot For Teacher,

"I don't feel thirty."

As I close the door on my twenties, I have to salute a good decade. In the past ten years, a lot has happened in my life:

I graduated from both college and seminary.
I started playing golf.
I used the internet/email for the first time.
I water-skied for the first time.
I asked Kelly to marry me.
I got ordained.
We got married.
I took my first plane ride.
I started my first full-time job.
I held four different ministries.
I lived in six different locations.
I owned four different cars.
I captained a regional champion soccer team.
I coached two years of collegiate soccer.
I performed my first wedding and first funeral.
We bought our first house.
We bought our first new car.
I taught about God over 200 times, not including any Sunday School classes I taught.
I visited four countries on three different continents.
I became an uncle.
I was published in national magazines and local newspapers.
I started a new church.

It's easy to remember these good times, forgetting all the bad stuff that happened during this decade of my life. I don't fear my thirties, as I have much to look forward to [fatherhood, for one]. It's just another decade to do a bunch of new stuff.

I say, "Bring it on."

Surprise, Surprise!

2005-12-29T23:08:00.000-05:00

So Kelly tells me, "You're having a birthday party tonight."

Cool. She had been selling me this whole "let's just you and me spend your birthday together" bit, which I bought hook, line, and sinker. So she pulled one over on me. Good move, babe. It wasn't a full surprise party, more of an "open house" type party but I had no idea who was showing up. So whenever someone knocked at the door, it was like "Let's Make A Deal." It was just a small gathering of folks, but a great way to spend the night before my birthday. We probably told way too many stories from ten years ago.

Kelly had everyone bring a 2-liter of Diet Cherry Coke, so I have enough to last me at least a week. So not only will I turn 30, but I'll have something to drown my sorrows with.

So in under an hour, I'll leave my twenties in the dust. C'est La Vie, third decade on earth. Bring on number four.

Insult To Injury

2005-12-29T10:17:00.000-05:00

In an article describing the extravagant birthday party thrown for LeBron James, the following quote was included:

"James' birthday is Dec. 30, a date he shares with golfer Tiger Woods, who like James had a rapid rise to superstardom."

Once again, I get no shout-out. Tiger and I were born on the exact same date, while LeBron came along nine years later. At what point are these guys going to finally acknowledge that they're still trying to live up to my life accomplishments? Sad, guys. Just sad.

Who Am I?

2005-12-28T21:03:00.000-05:00

The countdown at the bottom of this page testifies that there's a little over 24 hours before I turn thirty. I'm sure in the next couple of days I'll wax on about where I've been these past three decades and where I plan on going, but one thing I'm going to have to deal with is that little bio in the column to the right. Just in case you're blind [I'm not sure whether or not the Braille version of my blog has this text printed] this is what it says:

A homegrown Cincinnati boy [westside!] who loves his mama, good music, and living life, I've been blessed to find the most phenomenal woman in the world and somehow convince her to be my wife. I'm on a lifelong journey with God and welcome people to join me along the way. Im almost a jock, because I play and watch a slew of sports- from soccer to golf to basketball to softball [yeah, Ive officially given up]. Im almost a geek because I own an I-Book and read books by dead authors who get no love. Im almost a musician because Im a hack guitarist and sing harmony with the radio in my car. Im almost thirty because . . . um, well . . . Im almost thirty. Im self-centered, egotistical, and insecure. Ive got a long way to go and a short time to get there. Ill keep you posted.

So shortly I'll no longer be "almost thirty" so it's time for a re-draft.

Although it's a pain, I actually enjoy crafting this bio. However dreadful it is, I'm forced to describe how I perceive myself . . . or at least how I want you to think that I perceive myself. Either way, it's a good exercise, one that I'll put some thought to.

So my challenge to you is for you to describe yourself. Who are you? What makes you tick? What are your strengths? What are your weaknesses? What are you passionate about? Try it and let me know what you figure out.

New Photos Up

2005-12-27T18:22:00.000-05:00

Kay and Ann gave me this bib for our little girl. It was an all University of Kentucky Christmas as my southern in-laws initiated the campaign to insure that our daughter will be a UK fan. You see, if you're a "True Blue" Wildcats fan, you're said to "bleed blue." Apparently our baby will vomit blue. Notice the vomitous expression I already have on my face in this picture.

This and other picts are now online on my updated Flickr page. Hope you enjoy them.

Saying Good-bye

2005-12-27T18:11:00.000-05:00

I spent the better part of my day helping some friends pack-up for their move. John and JoLynn Handel [along with their children: Hayden, Holten, and Halena] are relocating from Mason to Sioux City, Iowa. Unfortunately, they had to move at the end of December but God couldn't have provided better moving weather. It must be said that they have more crap than anyone I know, but they also have a great group of friends who care about them so much that they volunteered the day to load the moving trucks [yes, "trucks" plural]. It was great to see a bunch of friends from Christ's Church that we haven't seen in awhile.

John and JoLynn have been nothing but supportive of Kelly and I since we first met them. It was a huge blessing to have them in our lives and we'll miss not having them here. If their were more people in the world like the Handels, no one would ever be unloved.

Godspeed, Handel family. We'll pray God's blessings on your family, but also that he'll bring you back to us soon.

The Holidays Roll On

2005-12-26T21:42:00.000-05:00

Well, a lot has happened in the past week- so much so that I'm not sure I'll be able to record it all. We had an awesome time in Lexington, celebrating Christmas with Kelly's family. We made it back to Cincy late on Christmas Eve, going to church yesterday with my parents and spending the day with them. Not all the family was able to make it then, so we're going to have another Christmas celebration Friday night on my birthday.

That leaves Kelly and me with this week off and only a few things to get done. Today we did . . . well, absolutely nothing. But with all these holidays left to celebrate, can you really blame us? Both Kwanzaa and [C]Hanukkah began this week and, of course, today is Boxing Day. Sure, no one in the U.S. celebrates Boxing Day [it's mostly a British holiday] but you gotta try. I chose to celebrate by watching English Premier League soccer.

So even though we have nothing to do, it should be a big week. With all this going on, I'm a little too tired to type. I'll try again later.

Christ Is Born!

2005-12-24T22:29:00.000-05:00

Good times . . .

Rejoice.

2005-12-21T22:11:00.000-05:00

O come, O come, Emmanuel,
And ransom captive Israel,
That mourns in lonely exile here
Until the Son of God appear.

Rejoice! Rejoice!
Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel.

O come, Thou Day-spring, come and cheer
Our spirits by Thine advent here;
Disperse the gloomy clouds of night,
And deathÂs dark shadows put to flight.

Rejoice! Rejoice!
Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel.

O come, Thou Key of David, come,
And open wide our heavenly home;
Make safe the way that leads on high,
And close the path to misery.

Rejoice! Rejoice!
Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel.

O come, O come, great Lord of might,
Who to Thy tribes on SinaiÂs height
In ancient times once gave the law
In cloud and majesty and awe.

Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel.

Author Unknown

Barbara Walters Heaven Special

2005-12-20T21:45:00.000-05:00

More on this tomorrow, but I must ask tonight:

When was the election for president of the evangelicals?

I never received a ballot.

I know I wouldn't have voted for Ted Haggard.

Church This Sunday?

2005-12-20T09:22:00.000-05:00

Up until now I've avoided the whole canceling church services on Christmas controversy. For those of you unfamiliar with the topic, welcome back to the United States. You can read up on it here.

Perhaps I've waited to comment because Echo isn't gathering on Christmas. As a small church plant that meets in the evening, it was a no-brainer. Almost all of our regulars will be attending someplace else on Sunday morning and the church whose building we rent isn't meeting on Christmas either. This means the heat will be off so no, we're not meeting. But if, by the next time Christmas falls on a Sunday, we have Sunday morning gatherings I guarantee we'll meet.

But I really think the reason I've waited to say anything is because of the people involved. There are a lot of good Christian people on both sides of this issue, people with whom I'll be spending all eternity so I'm reluctant to call them out. But this is such a big debate within the Christian community that we really need to honestly evaluate it and draw some conclusions.

There are a lot of excuses being given for canceling services on Christmas. Some are silly, such as "Jesus wasn't really born on Christmas Day, so it doesn't matter if we celebrate on that day." To that I respond, "of course he wasn't, but what does that have to do with the price of Spam?" The date of Easter fluctuates every year because of the Jewish calendar but you never hear anyone advocating not meeting then. Another excuse that makes little sense to me, is that "the Bible doesn't command that we have to worship on Sundays so we're free to worship God any day we want." I can agree with the first part of the statement but there's no overall consistency. If we don't have to meet on Sundays then why do it all the other 51 weeks each year. If you're going to use this argument, then you should change your weekly gatherings to Tuesdays.

While some excuses sound lame, others appear to be more legitimate, such as "we're taking the day off to let our volunteers and regular attenders spend time with families." But really, I think this might be the worst excuse of them all. Too often in pulpits today, pastors are making unbiblical claims on the importance of family. I'll admit that family is important, but I fear that some churches are advocating worshipping families above all else. Rather than elevating families Jesus claimed that He would cause families divisiveness; and he wasn't too warm with his own skeptical family. Is church really hindering our families' relationships? If so, maybe we need to reevaluate how we're doing things.

What I'm really hearing from these churches that are canceling is this:
1) Our services are so complicated to pull off that we need a slew of volunteers to make them happen.
2a) Many volunteers don't want to have to work [volunteer] on Christmas.
2b) Because these volunteers work all year round, they deserve a weekend off.
3) Christmas is the perfect day to cancel and make everyone happy.

If our services have become so complicated that we can't function without hundreds of volunteers, then maybe we need to reapproach how we do church. Not to go medieval on the megachurches here, but if you can't have just one Sunday without elaborate kids programs and high tech audio/video then what are you truly about?

And if you really need to cancel some weekend to give volunteers a break, why not do it in April? Or in September? August is a slow month, so why not shut 'er down to prep for a busy fall? I'm just saying that if you're going to use these arguments, show some consistency. There are plenty of other Sundays when you can call off services.

While we can't buy into these excuses for canceling, I question the motives of some on the other side of these issue. Some Christians loudly and publicly criticized these canceling churches, going as far to use the media to criticize these churches. That's more offensive than canceling in the first place. They should at least have the decency to keep the controversy "in house."

Plus these overtly pious "we're-meeting-on-Christmas-because-we're-righteous" Christians need to get a life. We're not on a sacramental system where you get a gold star for perfect attendance. These people probably need to evaluate exactly why they show up for services.

The saddest thing about this whole controversy is the embarrassment this issue brought upon the church. Josh Harris, of the Kissed Dating Goodbye fame and who pastors a church in Maryland, rescinded his decision to cancel their Sunday services. He admitted that his original decision was a mistake. Jon Weece of Southland Christian in Lexington spent an entire sermon a couple weeks ago just to defend their decision not to meet on Christmas. The intense media scrutiny about these cancelings [concerning a topic that the media couldn't care less about] has overshadowed all the good things these churches are doing for the kingdom of God in America. Shame on us, church leaders, for putting Christ's church in this position.

Is all this worth taking one Sunday off? I don't think so.

With or Without Me

2005-12-19T15:12:00.000-05:00

I think I figured out why I was up at 4:00 in the morning:

I was coming down with something.

I was feeling horrible on Sunday morning, but managed to preach out at Amelia. By the end of the sermon, I needed to leave. Kelly drove us home and I crashed on the couch. I felt nauseous as my temperature started rising throughout the afternoon. And, not to give you too much information, but I threw-up yesterday as well. Yes, my 10-year reign at the top finally came to an end.

So because of this virus I missed our Echo gathering last night. It really killed me not to be there. I knew that, eventually, I'd miss one of our services but never imagined it would come this early. I seriously thought about going [despite my 102 degree temperature] but I didn't want to risk getting everyone else sick just so I could keep my perfect attendance record. I actually find it comforting that things went on without me there. It's nice when you realize that the church can get along when you're not present.

Hopefully I can get over this thing soon. I don't like the thought of being sick on Christmas.

4am

2005-12-18T03:54:00.000-05:00

I am awake.

It is 4:00 in the morning.

I usually see 4am only once a day.

But here I am.

Wish I were asleep.

But I'm not.

I tried to read, thinking that would put me to sleep.

No dice.

Wonder where that expression came from.

"Counting flowers on the wall, that don't bother me at all . . . "

That's the song that was in my head as I was lying in bed.

But I don't smoke cigarettes.

And I haven't watched Captain Kangaroo in years.

Which armed service was Captain Kangaroo in, anyway?

I bet it was the Coast Guard.

Maybe I should play Solitaire.

But I don't have it on my laptop, so I can't do that.

I still have to wake up this morning.

Preaching tomorrow morning, leading worship tomorrow night.

Or I guess I should say THIS morning and TOnight.

I should really get some sleep.

Just wanted to share.

You're . . . A Jerk!

2005-12-16T09:46:00.000-05:00

With the last episode of the Apprentice last night, my reality TV season is officially over. Survivor and The Amazing Race are the other shows I watch regularly.

Since no one really watches the Apprentice anymore, I feel irrelevant posting about it, but I really need to since I've been fuming since it ended last night. This season was, what I liked to call, "The Season of The Dopes." It was by far the weakest field of contestants since Trump first started saying the "You're Fired" like white suburbanites drop "Fo' Shizzle." Because of this, the coronation of Randall as the winner started since week one. But, then again, is it really a privilege to win an ugly contest?

So it was between Randall and Rebecca. Randall screwed up his last task, a softball game, but was able to spin it as a success. Rebecca did a great job with her event but raised no money for her charity since the tight-you-know-whats at Yahoo felt bad about asking rich people for money [you had to watch it to understand]. It was close, but Randall was announced the winner. Shocker.

But here's where it got good. As Randall is celebrating as if he accomplished something really amazing, Trump calls him back to the boardroom table. Trump asks Randall if he should give Rebecca a job too, since she is a high caliber candidate. And Randall squirts out some dumb explanation that he shouldn't give her a job because the show is "The Apprentice" singular and not "The Apprenticies" plural. I think he made that last word up.

So given the opportunity to be a gentleman and help some one else out, at no expense to himself mind you, Randall was afraid of sharing the spotlight and screwed over Rebecca. That was so not cool. The whole season I tolerated Randall even though I think he was overhyped, but now I need not tolerate him anymore. This guy, as Tom Cruise would say, is a jerk. There's no recovery. He cares about one person: the guy looking back at him in the mirror.

It was a great lesson on character. You knew Trump was holding this surprise card up his sleeve, so Randall had no idea this was coming. When asked to make this snap decision, he had no opportunity to think it over. It was an impulse choice that reflected the kind of person he was. And his true self came out. That person isn't someone I'd want working in my organization. Trump should have fired him on the spot. But it's The Don we're talking about here, so Randall stays.

Congrats there, Randall. You might have won the big prize but you also won the boobie prize.

Blurry Vision

2005-12-15T14:56:00.000-05:00

Vision statements.

Every company has one, as I'm pretty sure it's now law for all organizations in the United States today.

I was cleaning around the dining room at Panera this afternoon and overheard some graduate marketing students analyzing companies' vision statements. They were so impressed with the way some company waxed eloquently about how they value people over profit yada, yada, yada. I wanted to stop over and tell them that whoever wrote that was full of crap, but I didn't. I was wearing an apron while throwing away someone's half-eaten sandwich; I don't think they would've taken me seriously.

I'm not a big fan of vision statements. I checked online to see what Panera's vision statement is. I guess it's sad that I'm an employee and don't know it, but this is the closest thing I found:

We are bakers of bread. We are fresh from the oven. We are a symbol of warmth and welcome. We are a simple pleasure, honest and genuine. We are a life story told over dinner. We are a long lunch with an old friend. We are your weekday morning ritual. We are the soft doughy insides and the crunchy crust. We are the kindest gesture of neighbors. We are home. We are family. We are friends. We are Panera.

Now isn't that special? As I visualize this vision statement in my mind, it looks like this:

Cute, huh? I want to cuddle Panera and listen to it purr in my lap.

But the reality of it is, vision statements are hardly ever a true reflection of your organization. Especially corporations who have but one measure of success: money. Despite the best efforts of executives to pay consultants to develop these elaborate statements, they're useless. It's all for show. The vision statement might be sweet little kitten, but in my mind, the company actually resembles this:

This company will eat my lap and purr after it has ripped my body into tiny little pieces. *Not an intended reference to Aslan or Disney's marketing techniques.

Don't misunderstand me here: I'm not trying to dump on corporations for making money. There's nothing wrong with turning a profit; that's the American way. It's how you stay in business. But why do they have to create bogus vision statements to dupe people into thinking that money isn't the main thing? Corporations can sued for false advertising but are untouchable when it comes to false vision statements. They're just dumb.

Now let me bring this discussion into the realm I am most familiar with. In the late 80's/early 90's churches started to buy into the vision statement trend. Every church and their grandmother were forming committees and spending months hashing out word-for-word how best to present themselves. Then they had huge unveilings, spending weeks of sermons to explain their new statements. Does it make a difference? I'm doubtful.

At Echo we have what could be deemed a vision statement. It's less a statement and more a motto: "resonating the Voice of God throughout the city and to the ends of the earth." I'm not sure that qualifies as a vision statement; it's just stating of the obvious. I think the only reason we came up with it is to try to get money from church planting groups [and that didn't work]. It does have a nice sound to it, you think?

FRIENDS, HERE'S MY POINT: Your organization is defined by how it actually is and not by a vision statement. You are what you are. If you're all about money, it will show through regardless how smoothly the vision statement rolls off one's tongue. And if you really care about people, they'll know and you won't need a statement to keep you focused. We focus too much about vision statements when we need to open our eyes and see what's really there.

My prayer for Echo is that we might be all about Jesus. I want us to be so much about Christ that when people visualize our church, that they think of Him. Now that's a picture I can't wait to see.